


Bang Bang!

by lil_cap



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Injury, M/M, Mutual Pining, Rated M for language, Seizures, klance, let him be happy, no porn sorry friends, save lance mcclain 2k17
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-10-08
Packaged: 2018-09-22 19:10:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9621593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lil_cap/pseuds/lil_cap
Summary: When Lance causes Keith to be seriously injured in battle, he takes it upon himself to be the one who gets Keith to the infirmary. During the short trip, the two reveal things about themselves unknown to anyone else on the ship. Keith ends up in a healing pod for days, leaving Lance to wrestle with guilt, loneliness, and some other, more pleasant emotions. Cue Hunk and Pidge, ready to be of assistance (or not) during those stressful days.You'd think it'd get easier when Keith comes out of the pod.





	1. Brain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *disclaimer: I didn't create any of these characters, nor the universe in which they reside.  
> first things first - I'm a short chapter kind of gal. Like, 5k words or fewer.  
> also, I don't have an editor (or a beta? is that what we're calling them these days? idk dude I'm old as hell) so I edited this myself, and we all know how well that goes, so forgive any errors pls and thank you  
> Listen. Kids. I just want Lance to be happy and loved and appreciated for the ray of sunshine that he is. That's all.  
> Finally, while the medical information in this story is all true to the best of my knowledge (as somebody with legit training I swear), please don't take it at face value. In an emergency situation, it's always best to find a professional.

The brain. The key to anything we do as humans, as animals. As necessary as the heart, but even more nuanced. Though many believe in the power of the soul, it is the brain that stores everything of who we are - our instincts, our personalities, our memories. To lose the brain is to lose any semblance of who we are as individuals, and turns us to a husk, merely a body with no vivacity within. Such a vital organ must be protected, and it is, by the skull - an inch thick bone-dome that encases our brain and keeps it safe. You would think, that for something so precious, a thick wall of bone would be better at keeping it from harm.

* * *

Lance’s cockpit rattled with the force of the blast. Every hit Voltron took made Lance feel as if his entire body was vibrating. His teeth clamped down painfully, and he reminded himself for the twentieth time to start wearing a mouthguard while in battle.

The enemy of the moment would’ve been the most comical to date, if it hadn’t been absolutely kicking their ass. In response to the power of the lions, Zarkon had assembled a giant bear to combat them. As they’d entered their lions, Lance had made the easy joke of, “Now all we need is a tiger, am I right? Like, lions, tigers and bears? Get it, guys?” At the time, he’d felt slighted by the scattered groans and one small chuckle from Hunk, but by now, even Lance wasn’t finding anything funny about the bear. The thing was  _ huge _ , and it was strong, and they just couldn’t seem to beat it.

“Come on guys, we can do this!” came Shiro’s voice over Lance’s headset. “Hunk, assemble blaster!”

“You got it!” was Hunk’s enthusiastic reply. The cannon materialized on Voltron’s shoulder, and though Lance couldn’t actually see it, he could feel its presence, as if he was holding it on his own shoulder. He anchored himself more firmly to his lion, the strengthened mental connection helping support the physical weight. The cannon fired twice, but, as it had been doing over the course of the fight, the robo-bear merely swatted the charges to the side, before sending its own blast right at the red arm of Voltron.

Voltron went spinning, and Lance heard, very distinctly, the strained grunts that came from Keith after being hit so directly. “Keith, you okay, buddy?” Lance asked, trying to right himself.

“Yeah,” Keith said. “I just can’t- oh, shit.”

“What’s wrong, Keith?” Shiro asked.

“My bayard!” Keith said. “I dropped it after that last hit. It’s all the way at the back of my cockpit.”

Lance could picture it - getting hit so squarely that the bayard flew out of his hand. It hadn’t actually ever happened to them before, and it definitely seemed like more of a Lance move than something from Mr. Suave himself, but Lance still couldn’t bring himself to tease Keith about it. 

“Can you reach it?” That came from Hunk, concern evident even over the headset. 

There was some jumbled grunting from Keith, and once again, Lance had to restrain himself from making an inappropriate joke. “No, it’s all the way at the back. I think it’s caught on something.” There was a short pause, and then, “Alright, everyone, try to keep Voltron as still as possible. I’m gonna get up and grab it.”

This was met with scattered objections, but Keith ignored them all, saying, briefly, “Just give me five seconds.” 

Lance heard the scattered clicks of Keith undoing his seatbelt. As he stared out the window, hands off his steering equipment, Lance saw something that compelled him to tell Keith to hurry the hell up.

“Just a second, Lance. It’s - ugh - stuck.”

But as Lance watched, the robo-bear was lining a shot up aimed directly for Voltron’s chest. Simultaneously, a small fighter plane was flying directly towards Lance’s cockpit from the back. “Keith, dude, I’m about to get hit. Sit down.”

“Don’t worry, Lance, we can block the shot.” Shiro said. “Just stay stable. Keith, the quicker the better, here.”

Lance watched as the pilot on a suicide mission stayed on course.

Lance tried, he really did. He even sat on his hands to try to prevent himself from moving his lion. But at the last second, as the fighter pilot prepared to fly directly into Lance, instinct kicked in. He grabbed his joystick and yanked up, lifting Voltron’s entire right leg. Amid the confused gasps from his fellow paladins, Lance watched the fighter pilot as it flew down, away from Voltron, in a flight path that indicated that it was never actually going to hit him.

“What - ” Shiro started, before the bear fired. Now Voltron was off-balance, and though Pidge tried to maneuver the shield back in front of them, she was a split-second behind. The blast hit Voltron squarely in the chest.

There was a rumbling feeling, before the all-too familiar sensation of Voltron being blasted apart. Lance flew away from the other paladins as Voltron broke apart into its five lions. As they all careened through space, Lance could hear the screams of his teammates, and overwhelming guilt settled like a pit in his stomach. 

As the yelling settled and everyone regained control over their lions, Lance heard the distinct sound of vomiting. He cringed. “Hunk, you alright there, buddy?” It would not have been Hunk’s first time vomiting after a rollercoaster-like movement. In fact, it would be more like his hundredth time. Lance kept all of this to himself.

“Uh, I know you aren’t gonna believe this, but that wasn’t me.” Hunk said, worry once again filling his voice.

Lance was about to ask who it possibly could’ve been, when Keith answered. “That… was me.” He said. His words were quiet, and he sounded dazed.

The pit in Lance’s stomach grew. “Aw, don’t tell me you were still up and about when we got blasted apart, dude.”

The reply from Keith was slow. “Uh… yeah.”

“Did you hit your head?!”

“Uh… yeah.”

Now Lance felt like _ he _ was gonna vomit.

“But I’m buckled in now. We can keep… uh… fighting.”

“Shiro,” Lance said, “We have to get outta here. Keith is definitely some level of concussed, and there’s no way we can form Voltron with him in that kind of state.”

“I’m fine.” Keith said, but the words slurred together, and he sounded like he was falling asleep.

“No, Lance is right.” Shiro said, possibly for the first time ever. “Allura, we’re not going to win this fight. Can you be ready to wormhole us out as soon as we get back on the ship?”

“I’ll be ready.” Allura said.

“Good. Everyone, back to the ship. Keith, can you fly?” There was no response. Shiro tried again. “Keith, can you hear me?” Still, nothing.

“Hunk and I can tow him in.” Lance volunteered. Hunk agreed, and they flew over to the red lion. They positioned themselves on either side of it, and flew back towards the hangars. Lance though he could hear faint moaning from Keith, but that could’ve just been the blood rushing through his head.

They landed as gently as possible, trying not to drop the red lion and make Keith’s concussion even worse, but there was still some jostling. “Ok, Allura, we’re all set.” Lance felt the force of wormholing even from inside his lion. Once Allura came back overhead with the all clear to move around, Lance scrambled out of his lion and into the hangar. 

Hunk met him on the ground. They looked to the red lion, but there was no sign of movement from inside. Hunk and Lance exchanged glances. “Keith!” Lance called, and Hunk echoed, but there was still no response.

“Alright, Hunk,” Lance said, “You go make sure Coran is getting a healing pod ready. I’ll grab Keith.”

“You sure you can get him by yourself?” Hunk asked, dubiously. 

“Of course I can!” Lance said. Then he slouched a bit, and added, “But, if you wanted to come back this direction with a stretcher, we could probably move him faster.”

“You got it.” Hunk said. He clapped Lance on the shoulder, and turned and jogged out of the hangar. 

Lance turned to the red lion. “Alright, Red. I know you’re not gonna wanna do this, but I gotta get Keith to the infirmary. So if you could just let me in, that’d be great.” To his surprise, the lion opened immediately. Normally, he would’ve been touched by this, but he knew that right now, it probably just meant that Keith was really,  _ really _ , hurt.

Lance entered the cockpit, carefully stepping over the small pile of vomit on the floor. He made a note to come back later and clean it before their next fight. He walked over to the pilot’s chair, where Keith was strapped in but unconscious. “Keith!” Lance called. Nothing. Lance leaned forward and put his head to Keith’s chest, and was relieved to hear the soft thumping of Keith’s heart. He kept his ear to Keith’s chest for just a moment longer than necessary, and was roused by his own name.

“Lance?”

Lance pulled his head back to look at Keith. “You’re awake!” He felt heat rise in his cheeks at having been caught in such a strange position. He busied himself by undoing Keith’s seatbelts.

“What were you doing?” Keith mumbled.

“Listening for a heartbeat, duh.” Lance said, nonchalantly. He finished with the straps and sat back on his heels. “Do you think you can walk?”

Keith’s brow furrowed as he contemplated the idea of moving. Slowly and silently, he rose from his seat. Lance reached out an arm and Keith took it, steadying himself against Lance. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Ok.” Lance moved away from Keith, but rushed forward again as Keith began to topple. “Alright, that looks like a ‘no’.” Lance said, now supporting more of Keith’s weight than Keith himself. “I’m gonna carry you, ok?”

Keith nodded weakly. Lance thought he looked as if he were on the verge of tears, but he tried to ignore that. Lance wrapped one arm around Keith’s waist, letting Keith’s own arm wrap around Lance’s shoulders. “Ready?” Lance asked. Keith nodded again, and Lance hoisted him into his arms, bride style. 

Lance made his way out of the red lion, and started towards the infirmary. He looked down, and noticed Keith’s eyes were fluttering shut again. “Hey - Keith!” The eyes reopened. “You gotta stay awake buddy.” Lance said.

“Yeah.” was all Keith could manage, before starting to drift off.

“Keith - uh, hey! What’s your favorite color?”

“What?” Keith asked, managing to raise one eyebrow even in his woozy state.

“I’m trying to keep you awake, man.” Lance said, wishing he hadn’t left his helmet on the floor of the hangar so that he could get help from the others. “So - what is it? Red?”

“No, actually.” Keith said. “My favorite color is blue.”

“Oh.” Lance tried to think of something better to say than that. “I never knew that.”

“You don’t know as much about me as you think you do.” Keith muttered.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lance asked, appalled. He knew plenty about Keith - he was a crazy conspiracy theorist, he hated Lance, he was the best pilot of them all… or maybe Lance didn’t know that much after all. “Well, maybe I can just get to know you now. Uh, what’s your favorite movie?”

“That’s how you expect to ‘get to know me’?”

It was incredible, truly incredible, how Keith could be a total asshole even when half-dead. 

“Well, what do you want me to ask, Keith?” Lance asked, exasperated.

“Ask a question you actually care about the answer to.” Keith replied. Lance could feel him tense up in his arms.

Lance felt a flush rise in his neck. “Alright. You know what I wanna know? Why is it, Keith, that you hate me?”

Keith sighed. Lance felt the tension dissipate. “Lance, really?”

The flush burned brighter on Lance’s face. “Yeah, really. What’s your problem with me?”

“Lance, I have never hated you.” Keith said.

The sentence rattled around in Lance’s head for a few seconds before it’s meaning set in _.  _ “Wait, what? Seriously?” Lance was stunned. “But - I - We’re enemies!”

“No, we aren’t, Lance. This whole rivalry thing - that’s all you. And I know you were hurt when I didn’t recognize you that first night, but that was just because I didn’t have strong feelings about you at school, negative or otherwise.” The small speech seemed to have exhausted him, and he relaxed back into Lance’s arms. 

“Huh.” Lance pondered all of this. “So, every time we fight…”

“It’s just you being an asshole.” Keith said, then added, “and a drama queen.”

“Right.” Lance nodded, glancing down at the man in his arms, but Keith’s eyes were shut again. “Well. Anything else I should know?”

“Not off the top of my head.” Keith said. “Although…”

“What?” Lance asked, eager to hear something that would make him feel less shitty.

“There is something I’ve never told anyone, and if I’m gonna die here, maybe someone should know.”

Lance rolled his eyes. “Now who’s being a drama queen? Keith, you aren’t gonna die.” The gossip-lover in him instantly regretted this, so he continued, “Maybe you should tell me anyway, just for insurance.”

Keith made a sound almost like a laugh, but not quite. “You’re so transparent, Lance. I know you just want me to tell you so you can have something to hold over my head.”

“That’s not true!” Lance said, then thought about it. “I mean, it’s not so I can hold it over you, exactly, more like I just like to know people’s secrets.” He paused. “You’re never gonna tell me now, are you?”

Keith cocked an eyebrow. “I do like the idea of torturing you with this, but at the same time…” he trailed off.

“...at the same time, fuck it?” Lance finished for him.

This time, Keith definitely laughed. “Yeah, fuck it, I guess.” He took a deep breath. “Is there a point in asking you not to tell anyone? Or is the entire ship going to know by the time I get out of the healing pod?” 

Lance thought for a moment, and then debated between a blatant lie and the truth. “Honestly? There’s no way I could ever keep a secret from Hunk. He always knows when I’m hiding something, and he’s so good at getting me to spill. Everyone thinks Hunk is soo sweet, but he can be real sneaky when he wants something.”

“And once Hunk knows,” Keith continued, “The whole ship is going to know.”

“Yeah.” Lance said. “I can’t keep a secret from Hunk, but Hunk can’t keep a secret from anyone.” Keith was silent. “So?” Lance pushed.

“So what?” Keith asked.

“So, didn’t anyone ever tell you, ‘Secrets, secrets, are no fun, secrets are for everyone!’”

Keith smiled, a rare sight for Lance. He felt like his chest had vertigo. “No, but I get the point. But you have to know, this isn’t easy for me to talk about.”

“Of course.” Lance said, shrugging.

Keith took a deep breath. “Alright. Well, uh, I’m - I’m gay.”

Lance came to a full stop. “You’re - huh!?”

“I’m gay. Homosexual. I like boys. As in, I like their- ”

“No, no, I get what gay is. I’m familiar with the concept, I just wasn’t expecting it from you.”

“Sorry.” Keith said, lamely.

“No! No, that’s not what I - I don’t think it’s like - I just - I don’t know what to do with that information.” He thought for a second, and then said, “I mean, it’s not like it’s a big deal or anything. Everyone has like, a little bit of gay in them.”

“...seriously?” Keith asked, one eyebrow arched and a small smirk playing across his face.

“Yeah, man! There have definitely been a couple dudes out there I’ve been attracted to. It’s no big deal.”

“Right.” Keith said. He seemed distinctly more nervous now that they’d talked about it, but Lance couldn’t help see the way his eyebrows were no longer furrowed as they had been, and how his mouth had relaxed into a small smile. A moment later, Lance noticed Keith’s breathing getting shaky, and he picked up the pace. The two were silent as they continued through the castle’s hallways. “So, if you’re gay, does that mean- ” He broke off the question as he felt Keith’s entire body tense up. He looked down to see Keith’s eyes rolled backwards and his mouth hanging open, a low moan escaping seemingly involuntarily. “Uh, what?” Lance asked.

Then the seizing started.

The first spasm caught Lance so much by surprise that he nearly dropped him. After the first shock, Keith’s body began shaking hard, and Lance quickly lowered him onto the floor. They were only a few hundred feet away from the infirmary. Lance looked down the hallway, and yelled, “Hunk! Coran! Shiro! Help, anybody!” Lance watched Keith’s shuddering body and tried to remember what to do.

When Lance was 16, he had gotten certified as a lifeguard as his first job. Part of his training was basic first aid, and within that was seizure care. He remembered thinking that a seizure was the easiest thing to deal with, because you weren’t supposed to anything except protect their head. Now, several years later, Lance thanked the stars he’d gone through those weeks of training. He moved to Keith’s head and placed his hands under his friend’s head so that it didn’t knock into the hard castle floor.

He didn’t realize that anyone had heard his shouts until his fellow paladins, Allura, and Coran all rounded the corner. They must have seen the panic in Lance’s expression, because they picked up the pace as soon as they caught sight of him.

“What’s happening?” Shiro asked in his most leader-like voice.

“He’s seizing.” Lance explained. “He was fine one minute - we were talking - and then he just…” Lance trailed off. 

Shiro knelt beside him, placing one hand on his shoulder. “What do we do?” He asked Coran.

“Nothing.” Lance answered, taking everyone by surprise.

“That can’t be true.” Hunk said. “There has to be something we can do.”

“Actually, Lance is correct!” Coran said. It was the second time someone had said that in one day, and Lance hadn’t felt good either time. “With a seizure, there’s nothing to do except let it run it’s course.”

“Is there any kind of stretcher we can put him on?” Lance asked. “He needs to get to a healing pod, stat.”

“I might be able to find something.” Allura said. “Give me just a tic!” She said, running back towards the infirmary.

The seizing was starting to slow. Lance put his head back to Keith’s chest, doing the same thing he’d done every time he’d pulled a drowning victim out of the pool. There was a pulse, which was good, but-

“He’s not breathing.” Lance choked out. “I - I have to give breaths. Somebody tell Allura to hurry the hell up.” With that, Lance bent down to Keith’s face. He tilted Keith’s head back, opening the airways. Then, with Keith’s earlier confession circulating in his mind, Lance pressed his mouth to Keith’s and exhaled. He sat up, counted to three, and did it again.

After the sixth breath, Keith’s body shuddered once more, as he began to breathe on his own again. Lance heard the sound of wheels speeding down the hallway, and Allura arrived with a bed on wheels. Close enough.

With the help of his fellow paladins, Lance loaded Keith onto the stretcher. Coran led the charge back to infirmary, Shiro pushing the stretcher and everyone else sprinting alongside.

Lance hung back, exhausted, as Shiro, Coran, and Allura loaded Keith into the healing pod. Lance looked at the pale, sweaty skin and black hair of his teammate and felt a lump rise in his throat. Suddenly, the weight of the day was just too much, and Lance sunk to his knees, head in his hands.

Eyes shut, Lance could feel somebody kneel beside him, and then an arm around his shoulders. “Lance,” it was Shiro, and his voice was soft. “Lance, I don’t even have words for how proud I am of you.”

“Yeah, Lance,” this was from Pidge. “How’d you know how to deal with all that?”

Lance removed his hands from his face and surveyed the rest of his team. Five faces stared back at him, mixes of various levels of exhaustion, worry, and something like happiness. “I was a lifeguard, back home. Had to learn basic first aid. Nothing complicated, just like, basic stuff to keep people alive ‘til the professionals can get there.” He shrugged and sat back on the floor, his long legs extending in front of him.

“Nah - you’re being modest!” Hunk said. “Remember that time at the pool I fell into the deep end? And of course I can’t swim, and you jumped in and fished me out before the on duty guards even blew their whistles.”

“That’s really impressive, Lance.” Pidge’s voice was unusually gentle. 

Lance waved his hand dismissively. There was something unnerving about having everyone complimenting him. “So, uh, Coran,” he said, eager to shift attention. “What’s it looking like?”

“Well,” Coran started, “After just a precursory look at the vitals, and it seems like the biggest problem is a significant amount of head trauma. Looks like his noggin took quite a beating there when he was wandering around.”

“But, wasn’t he wearing his helmet?” Hunk asked.

“Doesn’t always stop a concussion.” Shiro said briefly.

“Right! So, his brain isn’t in great shape.” Coran turned and studied the vitals again. “I imagine he’ll be out in just a quintant or two. In the meantime, you all should go shower and get some sleep.” As Lance opened his mouth to protest, Coran continued with, “If anything changes, I’ll be sure to let you know. But for now - rest.”

Lance had little choice but to follow as the other three paladins roused themselves and headed out of the infirmary. Hunk pulled Lance to his feet and lead him from the room, one arm under Lance’s armpits. Lance unabashedly leaned on his friend for support as they headed for their rooms, exhaustion washing over him.

The short walk was spent in silence: Shiro practiced his deep breathing, picturing Keith alive and well - positive affirmations; Pidge ran her hands through her hair repeatedly, a nervous bounce in every step as she tried not to think about her friend in the pod; Hunk squeezed Lance to his side, nervous that if he loosened his grip, Lance would fall to the floor; and Lance balled his fist into the cloth undergarments of Hunk’s armor, just for the sake of holding on to something tangible.

Pidge was the first to peel off, making a promise to meet them back in the kitchens for dinner later. Then, as they approached Lance’s room, Shiro held up a hand to Hunk. “Hey, I’ve got it from here.” Hunk untangled his arms from Lance’s and left, trying to figure out a way to craft Lance’s favorite food from the food-goo provided in the kitchen. 

“Lance, I want to talk with you for a moment.” Shiro said. Lance was leaning against the wall, staring off into space. “Lance?”

Lance’s eyes pulled away from Keith’s door across the hallway and found Shiro’s face. “What’s up?”

“Lance, I meant what I said before. You really pulled through today. If it had been me around, or anyone except Coran, we wouldn’t have known what to do. Lance.” Shiro’s hands went back to Lance’s shoulders for what must’ve been the fourth time of the day. “Lance, it’s very possible that you saved Keith’s life today.”

“Don’t say that.” Lance muttered.

“But, Lance -”

“Don’t, Shiro!” Lance knocked Shiro’s hands away from him. “Seeing as it’s my fault that Keith even got hurt in the first place, I don’t feel like I did him any favors.”

“Lance you can’t -”

“I’m gonna go shower. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Lance entered his bedroom, letting the door slam behind him. Heart pounding in his chest, he slid down the door, flashes of memories of the day spinning behind his eyes. Keith’s body, lifeless in the healing pod; his body slumped over in the pilot’s chair; the indignant expression on his face as he told Lance how he didn’t hate him; his eyes rolling backwards in his head as he fell into seizure; and finally, the small, satisfied smile as he told Lance his secret - “I’m gay.” Lance didn’t deserve that smile. After everything else he’d done - all the pain he’d caused - he didn’t deserve to be the recipient of such a sweet picture.

His eyes burned with tears he refused to let fall. He drew in a few shaky breaths before pushing himself off the floor. As he stripped, throwing his paladin armor haphazardly around his room, he repeated the same few phrases over and over in his head.

_ He’s going to be ok. He has to be. He’s going to be ok. He has to be.  _ Lance heaved a sigh as he stepped into the shower, letting the water rinse the sweat and stress of the day down the drain.

_ He’s going to be ok. He has to be. _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...please don't hate me for the giant ass robo-bear i thought it would be funny  
>  shiro is the kind of dad who is constantly touches his kids' shoulders, apparently  
> quintant = day (I THINK)  
> again: while the medical information in this story is all true to the best of my knowledge (as somebody with legit training I swear), please don't take it at face value. In an emergency situation, it's always best to find a professional.


	2. Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: I own neither the characters nor the world.  
> If you read the first chapter when it first came out, I did a little editing, including the addition of a paragraph much like the one at the start of this chapter. Those are gonna be a regular thing, so yeah. Go look at that.

The eyes. Though small, they are one of our most powerful assets. For most of us, our eyes are our key to making sense of the world around us. They take in and examine for us light, color and shape; the distance between us and another person; the way things move and change as we do. When working with the brain, they are capable of other, finer, examinations, generally referred to as perception. The quick glances and stifled smiles tell us more about what another person is thinking and feeling than their words ever can. It is these moments, these little hints at the inner workings of our fellows, that we should be truly grateful for.

* * *

 

Lance did what Coran told him to do. He showered, he ate, and he slept - albeit for only five restless hours. But he had followed directions, so when he showed up in the infirmary seven hours after he’d left, as brief a time as it had been, he didn’t think it was fair for Coran to scold him the way he did.

“Lance, you could be doing something more worthwhile with your time!” He said, shooing Lance away as if he was some irritating insect.

“Coran, what else am I gonna do?” Lance asked, arms swinging out to either side of him. “Pidge and Hunk are working on their lions, and I’m not smart enough to help either of them install blast reconfigurators, or whatever it is they’re actually doing. But you know what I can do?” He didn’t allow Coran a chance to answer before finishing, “I can watch over the healing pod while  _ you _ get some rest.”

Lance knew then that he had won. Coran hadn’t been to bed since they brought Keith in, instead monitoring the vitals and keeping general watch over things. As if the idea of rest alone was enough to make him sleepy, Coran stifled a yawn. “M-m-maybe you’ve got a point.” He said, weakly. Coran took one last look at the pod, making sure everything was stable, and left the infirmary.

And now, Lance was left alone with Keith. He walked to the pod, examining the body that stood within. The sweat that had earlier plastered Keith’s bangs to his forehead had dried, leaving the short tufts of hair lying loosely against his skin. Lance studied the hair carefully. He hadn’t been wrong when he’d called the style a mullet, as much as Keith might like to deny it. But since venturing out into space, Keith’s hair had grown out substantially, and now it was less of a mullet than just an uncontrollable mess. Lance wondered what it would take to get Keith to scoop it into a ponytail, because it would probably all fit, and it would definitely be hilarious.

It looked awfully soft.

Lance took a step back. He turned away from the pod, and took a couple laps around the infirmary. He ended where he started, gazing into the healing pod. He took in the finer details of Keith’s face: the dark circles under his eyes, the small bend in his nose that suggests it was once broken, and the way, even now, when he was totally relaxed, his lips still fell into an uneven sort of smirk. His eyebrows came down sharply, and he looked defiant, even in this state of total passivity. Lance’s heart skipped, remembering the look on Keith’s face when that anger, that fire in his veins, was directed at Lance. There was an energy within this boy, and it was so strange to see him without it, with only the shadows of past encounters remaining.

Lance stepped away again.

This time he stayed away, sitting on the floor, letting his mind drift. He let the events of the previous night play over and over again, trying to decide what he could’ve done differently. He knew, of course, what he should’ve done - he shouldn’t have let that fighter plane scare him into moving. It had been cowardly and selfish - he knew Keith needed him to be still, and yet he still did it. God, he was good at fucking things up.

He sat there for hours, in cycles of self destruction that had no window to the outside. At some point or another, the other five people on the ship all came and went, multiple times each. They talked to him, or at least, Lance thought they might have. It was hard to tell - he never responded, and eventually they stopped trying altogether. A glassiness had formed over his eyes, and seeing turned to barely being able to notice movement in front of him, a black film obscuring his vision.

He was stirred by the hissing noise that came as the door to the healing pod slid open.

Lance leapt to his feet, searching the room, but nobody else was there as Keith stepped out of the pod, as bright as the sun on a cool Cuban morning. He stumbled groggily, a feeling Lance was all too familiar with. He caught Keith as he had in the cockpit of the red lion. Keith wrapped his hands around Lance’s upper arms and pushed himself upright. He blinked his eyes open, and Lance was struck by the gray-violet color he had only ever seen on ocean water at dawn and dusk. Keith’s hands slid down Lance’s arms until they found his hands, and clasped them tightly, weaving their fingers together, pressing palm against palm. There was a fluttering Lance’s chest as warmth from Keith’s body travelled to his. He tried to speak, to call for the others, but the look on Keith’s face told him not to. It was a softened smile, the kind that suggested illicit actions to come, the kind of fun that only arises from doing things they shouldn’t. Keith silently led him to the doors of the infirmary, and squeezed Lance’s hand before pushing the great door open. Lance couldn’t see what was beyond - the light that came through was so radiant that it blinded him. He felt Keith tug on his hand, and Lance followed without protest. 

And then they were in Lance’s bedroom at home, posters of musicians and action films and beautiful women tacked up on almost every square inch of the wall. There was nothing but silence as he turned, took it all in, felt a wave of joy take his body over. _ Home _ . He was home, exactly where he wanted to be, where he’d wished he’d never left - but where was Keith?

The moment after the question crossed his mind, a certain poster caught his eye. He hadn’t put that up, that wasn’t his, where did it come from? The thoughts felt more like feelings as they whizzed by in his dizzied state. He approached it, and realized it was for some sort of comic or cartoon. Upon looking closer, he deciphered words and faces, and the wave that had overtaken him turned cold. The heading read,  _ Voltron: Defender of The Universe! _ . The people below the lettering were in colored suits, and Lance recognized each of them: Shiro in black, Pidge in green, Hunk in yellow, Keith in red, and - 

And, someone he didn’t recognize in blue. The boy in blue was beautiful. He had white blonde hair, a wide grin, and appeared to be very muscular - a full grown tree compared to a twig, as Lance had been referred to by his middle and high school bullies. And, perhaps Lance was imagining this, but it seemed that the blue paladin’s hand rested on the lower back of the red paladin. Bile rose in Lance’s throat - the life he’d had, fighting for the universe, of course it hadn’t been real! How foolish could he have been to think he ever could’ve been part of such a team? A sharpshooter, a “defender of the universe”. That role belonged to the blue paladin on the poster, not the meager young boy who stood in his small bedroom, dreaming and staring at the sky. What would they do with him? He was nothing, he was nobody, he was barely a blip on their radar. The bedroom began spinning, the walls closed in and Lance - 

Lance woke up very suddenly. 

He assumed it had come from hitting the floor, as he was now sprawled on the ground, when he had been sitting up against the console. His head was pounding, and he groaned as he pushed himself back into a sitting position. 

“Hey, he’s awake!” Lance recognized Hunk’s voice even as he rubbed his eyes and tried to pull himself back into reality.

“Yeah, but is he like...aware?” This came from Pidge, who sounded significantly closer than Hunk.

Lance opened his eyes and blinked twice. Pidge came into focus, her face about a foot away from his. Lance yelped and scooted backwards. “God, Pidge, you scared the crap outta me.”

“Sorry.” Pidge shrugged. “How’re you feeling?” She asked, sliding her glasses up the bridge of her nose where they’d started to slip. 

“I’m fine, why?” Lance noticed the rest of the crew staring at him from various locations around the room.

“Well,” Hunk started, nervously, “You were sitting there, totally out of it, but like also awake, for almost six hours, straight. And then you fell asleep for nearly eight more hours.”

Lance surveyed the faces of the others, trying to decipher their faces for a hint that Hunk was joking, but found no such sign. “I’ve been sitting there for fourteen hours?”

“Uhh….yeah. We thought we might need to put  _ you _ in a healing pod.” Hunk nodded. “There’s food if you want it.”

Lance waved this off and got somewhat shakily to his feet. “How’s he? He should be out of there soon, right?” he said, gesturing to Keith. He looked no different than when Lance had last seen him.

“Ah, well,” Coran began, “It seems that my initial estimates were a bit off. What I thought would take a quintant or so is now looking like three, maybe four quintants.”

Lance reeled. He had barely survived one day of this, and now it was gonna be four? “I gotta go.” he mumbled, and, nearly knocking over Shiro in the process, made his way from the infirmary and into the passages of the castle. 

He felt like he could’ve walked for hours, but it was only a couple minutes before Hunk caught up to him.

“Lance!” Hunk called, but Lance didn’t turn. “Lance!” 

As it turns out, Lance underestimated the exact speed at which Hunk was moving, meaning that the hood of his jacket was being caught and pulled on far sooner than he’d expected. The fabric caught around his throat and choked him. He fell backwards, loosening the strain on his neck, and glared at Hunk. “Yes?” he asked, voice acidic.

“Are you ok?” Hunk didn’t let go of the hood, keeping his grip tight so that Lance couldn’t run off again.

Lance heaved a sigh through his nose. “I’m fine.”

Hunk gave him a level look, evaluating the truth of that statement. He shook his head. “Nope, don’t believe you. Come on, we’re gonna go talk this out.” He pulled Lance by the hood into the nearest lounge, only letting go when they had both flopped onto the couch. 

Lance was silent. Hunk stared at him. Both waited for the other to begin, letting their stubbornness shine through in a round of ‘the quiet game’ that lasted nearly five minutes. Lance won.

“I know something’s wrong.” Hunk said, finally breaking the silence. Lance looked over at his friend’s kind face, eyebrows pushed up in a look of heightened worry. “You can talk to me, man, you know you can.”

Lance’s shoulders fell. “I know.” Hunk said nothing, letting Lance continue in his own time. Lance didn’t want to talk about it, didn’t even want to think about it, but the pressure kept building up until he popped - sort of. What he meant to do was confess. What he meant to say was,  _ it’s my fault Keith almost died _ . And yet, what came tumbling out of his mouth far more quickly than he could process was, “Keith doesn’t hate me.”

Hunk’s eyebrows fell. “What?”

Lance shrugged. “He told me, when we were walking to the infirmary. I asked him why he hates me, and he said he doesn’t!”

“Huh.” Hunk said, thinking. “Yeah, ok, Lance, I know that info must be rocking your world right now, but that doesn’t surprise me, like, at all.”

“What do you mean, it doesn’t surprise you?” Lance said, incredulously. “Hunk, he said that our entire feud is just -”

“- just made up in your head? Yeah.” Hunk finished, ignoring Lance’s goofy astonishment. “I know. Everyone knows that, except you. Lance, every single argument you and Keith ever have is started by you. As a matter of fact, any argument between you and  _ anybody _ is started by you.”

“But-”

“But nothing! Lance, buddy, you know I love you, but  _ holy shit _ you can be so mean to him sometimes.”

“Well, he’s mean too!” Lance said, fully aware, but not caring, that he sounded like a five year old in time out.

Hunk sighed, thinking for a moment. “Yeah, I get that, but I think the difference is that he’s on the defensive, and you’re attacking.” Hunk said, more calmly than before. “If you stopped picking fights, I think they’d stop altogether.”

“Wait - Hunk, you can’t put all the blame on me, here. It’s not like Keith’s a nice person or anything.”

Hunk frowned and tilted his head to one side. “Eh.”

Lance narrowed his eyes. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

Hunk shrugged, a red tint rising in his cheeks. “Just that I don’t know if I agree with you on that.”

Lance leaned forward. “Hunk, are you saying you like Keith? Is that the treachery I’m hearing leaving your mouth? You  _ like _ him?!”

“What I’m saying, Lance, is that Keith can actually be pretty cool, y’know, sometimes. When you aren’t around. But sometimes when you are!” Hunk added, seeing the expression of betrayal on Lance’s face. Hunk sighed. “I just think that maybe, if you gave him a chance, you might realize that he can be kinda chill.”

Lance nodded, deflating like a balloon He knew that Hunk was right, that he did have a tendency to be too harsh. “Yeah. Yeah ok. Thanks, buddy.” Lance drew his knees to his chest and rested his head against the back of the couch. 

Hunk continued to stare at him. “Is… there anything else bothering you?”

Lance arched an eyebrow. “Why do ask?”

Hunk shrugged. “Just thought I’d check.” Then, “There is, isn’t there? Something else happened that you haven’t told me. Lance, you can’t let all this stuff just sit inside you, dude. You’ve gotta talk to me!”

Lance groaned. “I know! I know that I should, and I know that I’ll feel better when I do, but like - I can’t sometimes! You know? Like, I know that talking things out will make the situation easier to deal with, but that means I have to like, actually deal with it, and I don’t wanna do that.” He heaved a sigh. “Besides, this secret isn’t even mine, it’s something someone else confided in me. So I can’t tell you, even if I wanted to.”

Hunk was quiet for a few moments. “But if it’ll make you feel better, you should do it. Right? Like, you need to take care of yourself.”

“Very sneaky, Hunk.” Lance said, but the temptation of letting this information out into the world was too strong. And, anyway, Keith knew that Lance was gonna tell Hunk, and Keith had told him anyway, so it probably didn’t matter, right?

“Ok, fine, I’ll tell you.” Lance said, and Hunk lit up. “But you gotta swear you’re not gonna tell anyone else, ok?”

“Lance, we both know that’s a promise I can’t keep.”

Lance laughed. “Very true. Ok. So, when I was walking Keith back, I was trying to keep him awake, by talking to him and asking him a bunch of questions and stuff, you know. And uh, after he told me he didn’t hate me, I asked if there was anything else I should know, and he said if he died, there was one thing he figured at least  _ someone _ should know.”

“And?” Hunk asked, eagerly.

“And… he told me he’s, uh, that he’s gay.”

They stared at each other in silence for about two seconds, confusion slowly sliding off Hunk’s face, replaced by a dawning comprehension. The room was filled by a stuffy silence, until-

“Keith is  _ gay _ ?!” Hunk and Lance whipped their heads toward the doorway, for the outburst had come from neither of them. Pidge stood in the doorway, face alight.

“Pidge!” Lance leapt off the couch, clutching his chest dramatically. “Holy shit, you nearly gave me a heart attack! How long have you been there?”

“Long enough.” Pidge said, entering the room, a sly smile on her face.

Lance felt his ears grow hot. “How much did you hear?”

“Hardly anything.” She hopped over the back of the couch, where Hunk was still sitting, astonished. She tugged on the hem of Lance’s shirt, pulling him down next to her. “So what happened? After he came out, I mean. Shit, dude!” She slapped him backhanded across the arm. “What did you say?”

Lance shrugged. “I mean, I just told him it was fine! Like, I don’t think anyone cares, unless Alteans have some weird ass-backwards morals about all this.”

Pidge snorted. “Yeah, I somehow doubt that.”

“So… that’s it? You just said it was fine, and that’s that?” Hunk asked.

“Uh… yeah.” Lance said, casting his mind back. “Oh, and then I said that everyone’s at least a little gay.”

“I’m sorry?” This from Pidge, but Hunk’s expression said about as much.

“What?” Lance asked.

Hunk and Pidge exchanged glances. “Uh, can you elaborate on that, buddy?” Hunk asked.

“Well, yeah, it’s like…” Lance trailed off, searching for the right way to explain his logic. “Ok! So, it’s like, I like girls, right? But sometimes, I’ll see a dude, and it’s like, yeah, I would be  _ definitely _ be cool with making out with that guy, like he’s attractive, right? You know what I mean?”

Hunk and Pidge just looked at him. Hunk looked like Lance was growing horns, and Pidge appeared to be feeling some sort of mix of gleeful and constipated. 

“Alright why are you guys staring at me? What?”

“Uh, Lance, hate to break it to you, dude, but I have never ever looked at another guy and thought I’d want to make out with him, or anything like that.”

“But -”

“Yeah, and I’ve never looked at  _ anyone _ and thought I’d like to make out with them.” Pidge said, pushing her glasses up her nose. “Like I don’t think I have bits of gay  _ or _ straight in me.”

“Wait wait wait.” Lance said, holding up his hands and shutting his eyes. “You’re telling me, you’ve never had a gay thought in your life?” Hunk and Pidge shook their heads. “Like, never seen another person of the same sex and gotten a little heart flutter?” They shook their heads again. “Never even had a crush on…?” Lance trailed off weakly as Hunk and Pidge shook their heads once more, in perfect unison.

“Lance, do you think it’s possible that maybe you… aren’t straight?” Hunk suggested, in a nervous way that made it appear as if he didn’t want Lance to be angry at the idea.

In response, Lance flopped backwards onto the couch. His mind began to race - little moments from all over his life, building up into one big realization. Memories flashed through his head - that time in middle school when Julia Lafferty and Vince Monroe were cast opposite each other in a toned-down  _ Romeo and Juliet _ and he’d somehow felt jealous of both simultaneously; when his friends in high school had always said “No homo!” after any compliment and Lance always felt unnerved by the need to make that declaration; and when he got to the Garrison, and he’d seen that lean boy in the leather jacket and his heart had swooped towards his stomach. Lance’s could hear the blood rushing through his head. 

“You know something? I think I might be bi.” He muttered, just loudly enough for Pidge and Hunk to hear him. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see them look at each other again.

“Yeah?” Pidge asked, and Lance could hear the grin in her voice.

He sat bolt upright, causing both of his companions to jerk backwards. “Everything makes so much sense now!” He said, turning back to them, eyes wide. “I had crushes on dudes before! But I never even realized that like… it was real. I just thought it was normal growing up stuff - hormones and junk, you know? Fuck, dude, _ fuck _ .” He propped his elbow on the back of the couch and rested his head on his hand. He felt a grin growing on his face. “This is awesome!” He laughed. “There are so many possibilities!”

“Lance.” Pidge said, but Lance didn’t respond, continuing to babble on about his new life as a bisexual man. “Lance!” This did a better job at snapping him out of his thoughts. 

“Hey.” He said. “I just went on like, a whole rollercoaster of emotions there.”

Pidge snorted. “Yeah, we saw.”

“So you’re ok then?” Hunk asked, peering around Pidge’s shoulder.

“Yeah, I am, I think.” Lance said. “I feel like I’ve been trying to solve some big puzzle my whole life, and I just got the piece I needed to figure it all out.” He smiled sweetly at his friends. “I think I’m really happy about this, actually.” He nodded, affirming the thought. “Yeah. Yeah, I am happy about this.”

“Glad to hear it!” Pidge said, clearing her throat. “So, Lance, I can’t help but notice - you’re bisexual, and as we all know now, Keith is gay. Now,” she continued, chuckling as she spoke, “that’s an awfully funny coincidence if you ask me.”

Lance narrowed his eyes. “Pidge, c’mon, I  _ just _ found out that I’m bi, alright? Give me like, a day or so to process this before you try and set me up with anyone, ok? Least of all  _ Keith _ .”

“What?” She asked, feigning innocence, as Hunk grinned behind her. “I’m just pointing out an observation.” She stood and stretched, reaching her arms over her head and bending her back. “We should probably head back to the infirmary anyway, see if anything’s changed.”

“Good idea.” Hunk agreed, joining her. Lance followed suit, and in a few moments, they were back in the hallways of the castle, threading their way back to the infirmary. 

As Pidge and Hunk talked on and on about this and that, Lance hovered, just a step behind. He swam through the hallways in a dream-like state. Every minute something different occurred to him, another experience he’d had rendered completely differently by this new identity. Identity. He loved that he was a man with a queer identity, a new side of himself he’d never had the chance to explore previously. His life suddenly seemed a hundred times simpler, all the misunderstandings and unexplained hurt feelings melting away in this new warm light.

As they neared the infirmary, images of Keith swam to the forefront of Lance’s mind, followed swiftly by Pidge’s impish insinuations. He’d always thought of Keith as an enemy; the immovable object to his unstoppable force. But the idea of Keith in a romantic way - that was certainly interesting. Lance rolled through the possibilities - Keith’s smile directed at him, like the way it was after his initial confession; taking Keith’s hand in his own; their faces brought nearer to each other than they had been since Lance gave him mouth-to-mouth, and- 

No. No way. Lance shoved the thoughts out of his mind with such force that he physically tripped, garnering odd looks from Pidge and Hunk. He waved them off casually, but internally he was shaking. Keith as romantic partner. Who was he kidding? Not only would it cause a shitshow for the group, but the idea that, even if he liked Keith, that Keith would like him back? 

Ridiculous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where in the world is Ketih Kogane?  
> A couple of things:  
> First, I based Lance's epiphany on my own. The way I felt when realizing I was bisexual is the way I wrote it for Lance, because I thought that would be the most natural way to write it. Obviously this isn't how it goes for everyone, but please don't tell me it's inaccurate/too happy, because it's based on something real.  
> As for the little paragraphs of focus on the brain, the eyes, etc. - I'm a biology student. It's kinda my thing.  
> ALSO: I might have a concussion. I don't think I do, but I hit my head pretty hard, and if it turns out that I'm concussed, I'm gonna have to stay away from the computer, which means more than a week between updates. We'll see.  
> P.S. I love comments, they make me smile real real big.  
> (follow me on tumblr @ littlebilance)


	3. Stomach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> update: despite hitting my head at practice one night, playing in two games the next weekend and hitting my head again, I am not concussed. Yay!  
> in my brain, the Garrison is a college like institution. IDK if the writers have provided info that contradicts this, but that's what makes sense to me. This makes Hunk/Lance/Keith ~ 18-19, Shiro ~ 25, and Pidge is ~ 16.  
> this is the longest chapter so far! It was hard to start at first, but I sat down with the soundtrack to "The Hours" on and wrote constantly for an hour and went really easily. Very good soundtrack to listen to if you like music when writing.

The stomach. Like nearly every other part of our anatomy, it has roles both practical and metaphorical. As far as the practical - the everyday - goes, it digests our food and reminds us when we need more. It is a key indicator in telling us when something is wrong - nearly every injury and illness has the potential to evoke nausea. Metaphorically, it is the manufacturer of instinct, though in reality this job lies in the hindbrain. Our stomach is often the figurative center of feeling - it is where we feel butterflies, pits of guilt, and knots of nervousness. When it comes to instinct, to fight or flight, we look to our stomach for split-second guidance. They say, “trust your gut.” Sometimes this works out, but other times, invariably, it does not.

* * *

 

On the morning of the fourth day since their last battle, all six waking members of Team Voltron stood in a semicircle around the healing pod. “Well,” Coran said, “It’s been four quintants now. Keith should be just about ready to come out.”

Pidge elbowed Hunk and Lance, who stood on either side of her, and muttered, “I thought he’d already come out.” Hunk snorted. Lance, however, gave her a harsh look out of the corner of his eye, and went back to staring at the pod. He was likely the one most anxious to see Keith leave the pod, if for no other reason than to get some sleep. Though his earlier chat with Hunk and Pidge had helped to alleviate some of his stress, Lance had returned to the infirmary that day and had hardly left since. He had made it back to his bed twice, and to the kitchen once, after everyone refused to bring him food in the hopes of luring him out. He’d gone again since then, but that had been over twelve hours ago.

Safe to say, Lance looked a bit of a mess. His hair hadn’t seen a comb or even water in days, and it was now pressed flat to his skull in some places and sticking out oddly in others. The area under his eyes was bruised and puffy, and his eyes themselves were bloodshot and unfocused. He had a sore throat, and his entire body was aching from the lack of rest. He hadn’t slept or eaten properly in days, and the effects were showing themselves spectacularly.

The six of them stood in silence as they waited. Lance examined them all in turn. Coran was looking between the vital signs and the pod itself, squinting. Allura and Shiro were wearing matching frowns, though Allura stood up straight, hands clasped at her waist while Shiro had his arms crossed. Hunk had his hands in his pockets, and a thin layer of sweat had formed across his forehead. Pidge’s face was scrunched up, and she was rocking back and forth on her heels. Lance could tell she was impatient, knew they all were, and turned his own attention back to the pod.

It was just a couple more minutes after that, before the pod beeped twice, and the door began to slide open. Everyone came to attention as Keith’s form came into view. He took a couple steps out of the pod, eyes still closed. Everyone braced - enough people had come out of the pods and collapsed that they were all ready to catch him. However, Keith seemed fairly stable. He rubbed at his eyes with his fists, and Lance couldn’t help but noticed how much he looked like a sleepy child. Keith opened his eyes, finally, and blinked at them. He started to say something before he finally collapsed, knees giving way and sending him straight backwards. Lance stepped in, catching Keith across his chest, looping his arms under his friend’s armpits, like the trust falls he used to do at camp. Keith’s head knocked into Lance’s collarbone, and Lance winced. Keith groaned, and tried to stand again, but most of his weight was still carried by Lance. Lance grunted, and said, weakly, “Uh, guys, I am not strong.”

Shiro bounded forwards, looping Keith’s arm over his shoulders and simultaneously freeing Lance from the burden. Lance stepped back into his place in the semicircle, heart racing, though the exact cause was uncertain.

Keith’s eyes fluttered open. He scanned the five people standing before him, confused. “What’s going on?”

“You’ve been in a healing pod for about four days now.” Shiro said.

“Four  _ days _ ?” Keith croaked.

“Just about.” Shiro said. “How are you feeling?”

“Honestly?” Keith asked, straightening himself out, “Starving.”

Shiro laughed, relieved. “Well then let’s get you some food.”

Keith untangled himself from Shiro, assuring them he could walk on his own, and led everyone out of the infirmary. But at his slowed pace, he was soon at the back with Lance and Pidge, who were silent. 

“So,” Keith said, voice still quiet and rough after days without use, “I bet those four days without me were heaven for you, huh?”

Lance looked up, bewildered. “Why would you say that?”

Keith blanched. “I just meant, I mean you usually hate when I’m around, I - I was making a joke.”

“Well it wasn’t funny.” Lance muttered, face flushing.

There were several moments of awkward silence, before Pidge, after witnessing the entire, awful interaction, chimed in with, “Actually, Keith, Lance saved your life.”

Lance’s face burned hotter as Keith looked over at him, eyebrows at his hairline. “You did?”

“I mean,” Lance said, waving his hands wildly, “Technically, yeah.”

“Not to mention that he barely left the infirmary while you were in there.” Pidge added.

Keith looked astonished. Lance could barely hold his gaze before he had to turn to stare at the floor. “Lance, is that true?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Lance shoved his hands in his pockets. “I mean I only did it ‘cause I was the one who got you hurt, so…” He trailed off, letting the end of his sentence evaporate. 

Keith stared at him, brow furrowed. “What do you mean, you got me-” His knees gave out suddenly, and he stumbled. Lance caught him, realizing he had been doing so far too often as of late. Keith coughed as he got his legs under him. “I’m fine, Lance.” He said, attempting to free himself from Lance’s grip, but Lance’s arm stayed wrapped firmly around Keith’s waist. 

“Nah, dude. The faster we get to the kitchen the faster we get food, and since I’ve hardly eaten more than you in the past couple days, I’m freakin’  _ hungry. _ ”

Lance tugged Keith the rest of the way to the kitchen. They were just a few paces behind the rest of the group, and eventually they all made it into the kitchen together. They all sat down to the table as Coran filled two bowls with food goo for Lance and Keith.

Keith poked at his food. “So, what exactly happened?”

Allura and Shiro looked at each other. “What’s the last thing you remember?” Shiro asked.

Keith paused with his spoon halfway to his mouth. “Uh, I don’t know. We were fighting some...thing. A bear?” He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “It’s all fuzzy.”

“Yeah, I think that’s probably from the concussion.” Hunk said, grimacing.

“You’re right, though.” Shiro said. “We were fighting some sort of bear… robot. Anyway, one of the hits we took knocked your bayard out of your hands…” Shiro continued on telling the story of the fight. As he got to the moment where they were knocked off balance, resulting in the blast that sent the lions apart, Lance felt the back of his neck heat up, and he squeezed his fist around his spoon until his knuckles went white. He stared into the bowl of green goo, debating whether to try and ignore the sound of blood rushing through his head, or use it to block out the rest of Shiro’s story. 

It took Shiro three times saying Lance’s name before Lance could register it. He looked up in surprise. “Uh, did you say something?”

Shiro’s face was blanketed with concern. “I was just saying that after we landed, you took over getting Keith to the infirmary, and you should probably tell the story from there.”

Lance swallowed. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, totally. So, I got you out of your lion. You tried to stand up, but you fell over, so I ended up carrying you, like… bridal style, I think it’s called? Yeah, so I carried you from the hangar to the infirmary, and you were kinda falling asleep, so I made sure to talk to you and keep you awake, and then when we were almost there, you started seizing.” Lance’s heart started beating faster as he recalled that afternoon’s events. “I called for help, and laid you on the ground, and held your head, and when the seizing stopped, you weren’t breathing. So I gave you a few… rescue breaths. And then Coran pretty much took it from there, got you into a healing pod, and then we all waited for four days. Did I miss anything?” He surveyed the rest of the group, who all looked vaguely uncomfortable. Lance imagined this had to do with the rushed way he’d told the story, plus the fact that his face must look like a tomato.

Keith stared at him with an odd expression. “You gave me mouth-to-mouth?”

Lance rolled his eyes. “Of all the things to pick up on? Yeah, I did. I mean, you weren’t breathing. What else was I gonna do?”

“So like,” Pidge piped up, “You guys pretty much kissed.”

Lance rolled his eyes, more dramatically than the first time. “No, Pidge, I don’t think it counts if one person isn’t conscious. Isn’t that how consent works?”

“Wow.” Keith muttered, as if the last exchange hadn’t happened. “It sounds like you really did save my life, Lance.”

“Yeah, people keep saying that.” Lance said, grinning, forcing his old bravado back into his voice. “So I guess it must be true.”

“Right.” Keith said, dropping his spoon into his empty bowl. They listened to the clinking sound of it echo around the small room, before Keith spoke again. “I think I’m gonna go rest, if that’s ok. Somehow, sleeping for four days straight was exhausting.”

“Yeah, I’ll walk with you.” Lance said, pushing his chair out from the table. “I feel like I’ve barely slept the last few days.”

“That’s because you haven’t.” Pidge said, drily.

The other five bade them goodbye, and Lance and Keith set off towards their bedrooms. They walked in silence, and slowly, though Keith had begun to regain some of his strength. 

“Keith, we need to talk about something.” Lance said it so quietly that he wasn’t sure whether Keith had heard.

“What’s up?” Keith asked.

“So you really don’t remember anything that happened after the fight? Nothing from when I carried you through the ship?”

Keith shook his head. “Nothing. It’s weird, we were in a fight, and then I woke up, and somehow four days had gone by.”

Lance sighed. “Man, this sucks.”

Keith smirked. “Why? Are you sad that we had a bonding moment, and I seem to have forgotten it? Doesn’t that mean it didn’t happen?”

Lance laughed. “Alright, I get the point. And yeah, that’s kinda what I’m getting at, but this was more than just me cradling you in my arms, or whatever it is you say happened before.”

“Hey!” Keith protested, but he was smiling. “So, what happened?”

Lance searched for the right words. “It’s just that… the conversation we had was pretty meaningful. We kinda went through some personal stuff. It just feels weird that you don’t remember.”

Keith furrowed his eyebrows. “What kind of stuff?”

“Well, you told me that don’t hate me. That the rivalry we have is one-sided, and that it wouldn’t exist at all if not for me and my ego.”

“Oh.” Keith nodded. “But Lance, I would have told you that any time. It’s not really something I was keeping a secret.”

“Yeah, I know.” There was a nervous bounce in Lance’s step.

“Was there something else?” Keith pressed.

“Yeah.” Lance was staring at the floor.

“Lance, you’re starting to make me nervous here. What did I tell you?” Keith’s eyes were wide, and Lance felt a new surge of guilt.

“You told me that you’re gay.” It came out in a rush, like he’d popped a balloon and out had burst these words that stopped Keith in his tracks.

“I did  _ what _ ?” Keith asked, horrified, his voice cracking on the last word.

Lance nodded fervently. “Yep. Told me you’re gay, that you like boys, and specifically-”

“Stop.” Keith raised a hand. “Who else knows?”

Lance grimaced. “Hunk and Pidge both know. But you knew that if you told me, they’d both find out, and you still said it. And for the record, I only told Hunk. Pidge was eavesdropping.”

“Great.” Keith said. It looked almost as if there were tears in his eyes as he turned away from Lance. “The only people on the ship who know are the three most likely to give me shit for it. That’s great.”

Lance’s jaw dropped. “OK, first of all, Hunk Garrett is one of the kindest, gentlest people I have ever met, and he would  _ never  _ make fun of somebody for their sexuality, and frankly, I’m a little offended you would think that of him. Secondly, do you honestly think Pidge gives a shit what people like and don’t like? She does not have time for all that crap. I can’t imagine two people  _ less _ likely to give you shit for that.”

“So that just leaves you then?” Keith asked, wheeling around. His face was red, and there was definitely some sort of shine to his eyes that hadn’t been there previously.

Lance took a step back. “Me?! I’m like, the second gayest person on this ship, dude.”

Keith blinked. “Huh?”

Lance realized a half-second too late that Keith was now the only person not to know this new fact about himself, as he’d delivered the information to Shiro, Allura, and Coran later on the day he’d figured it out. “Oh. Right, you don’t know about that yet. Well, uh, it’s come to my attention that, contrary to my prior beliefs,  _ not _ everyone has a little bit of gay in them, as I’d thought, and that’s just me, and also I’m bisexual.” He finished awkwardly. He didn’t know where to look, so he just maintained eye contact with Keith. Keith’s face was slowly returning to a normal color, and he was becoming visibly less stiff.

“So.” Keith started, slowly. “I’m gay, and you’re… bi.”

“Yes.”

Keith blew out a puff of air that ruffled his bangs. “How long until everyone starts insinuating that we should date.”

Lance laughed, and kept walking towards the bedrooms. Keith fell in step with him as he passed. “Buddy, I can tell you right now that Pidge is  _ way  _ ahead of you there.”

They laughed a little, and continued the rest of their walk in silence. Neither knew what to say - they now had this thing in common - something that was probably just the two of them on the entire ship. It would add a new level to their relationship, certainly, but what to do with it? Lance had already decided to abandon the rivalry; that had been an easy choice, since it had apparently never really existed in the first place. But now, they might even become friends. The thought was almost laughable to Lance, but at the same time, he found himself wanting it desperately.

They parted ways at their bedroom doors. Keith gave Lance a small smile before stepping into his room, and as Lance did the same, he felt his heart tumbling through his chest. He walked over to his bed and landed face first onto his pillows. He rolled over, staring at the ceiling, and, as he had been doing a lot recently, contemplated the idea of giving in to Pidge’s ridiculous insinuations. He shook it off. He told himself he didn’t like Keith in that way; he had just barely begun liking Keith in any way, let alone something romantic. But even as the thought crossed his mind, he felt butterflies rise in his stomach, wings beating incessantly, sending him a message he did not want to read.

He stared at the ceiling, and tried to think of something else, anything else, but found himself failing, over and over.

He sighed. “Fuck.”

* * *

 

“Oh, bulllshit!” Pidge yelled at the TV.

Later that afternoon, Lance, Pidge, and Hunk sat in one of the ship’s many lounges. After a small panic immediately followed by several hours of intense concentration, Pidge had worked out a way to connect the gaming console from Earth to the Altean televisions set up in some of the lounges throughout the castle. On nearly any given afternoon, when they weren’t doing something more important, Pidge, Hunk, and Lance could be found in this lounge, playing a fighting game and yelling at the top of their lungs at each other, exactly as they were now doing.

“Aw, screw you, Garrett!” Pidge yelled, tossing her controller onto the floor. On the screen, Pidge’s character was lying crumpled on the ground, a gory mess, while Hunk’s stood victorious, arms raised in the air.

“Don’t be a sore loser, Pidge.” Lance said, though he was not one to talk when it came to being a sore loser. “And  _ especially _ don’t throw the controller. If one of these breaks, we’re screwed until we find another space mall.” He picked the controller up gingerly from the floor, examining it for scratches, though all three knew it was probably fine. “Anyway, I’m next. Hunk, you ready to take a beating?”

Hunk grinned. “As if.”

They reloaded the level, and Lance spent several minutes cycling through characters. Pidge groaned. “Lance, why do you do this every time? We all know you’re gonna end up picking Fiorella. She’s your favorite.” It was true. Lance did always pick Fiorella, the badass warrior princess. He liked to joke that if he had to marry a fictional character, it would be Fiorella, and Pidge always remarked that Fiorella would kick his ass before he could even propose.

“I think I’m gonna go with Akio.” Lance said, coming to a stop on the samurai character.

Pidge raised her eyebrows. “Alright. But you’re gonna get your ass kicked of you don’t know how to play him.”

“Please,” Lance waved her off. “I’m so good I could crush you with any character.” Pidge snorted, but said nothing.

There was a shuffling noise behind them, and Lance peered over the couch at the door. Keith was standing there, looking groggy, but much better than he had just a few hours earlier. He was wearing a gray t-shirt and red plaid pajama bottoms, and Lance was struck by how much he looked like any other teenage boy. It was one of those moments, and he’d had a few, where it was hard to believe that the person standing before him could be considered a defender of the universe. This was just some college-aged kid; hair a mess from being slept on, purple marks under his eyes -  he looked no more special or talented than anyone else. And yet, here they all were, risking their necks day in and day out. It felt impossible; it felt like it should be anyone other than them, this handful of young adults who were only just starting to figure their lives out on Earth. And now they were in charge of protecting that same Earth. It was all so strange.

Lance realized he had been staring at Keith while all this ran through his mind, and Keith was staring right back. “What?” Keith asked, somewhat defensively.

“I - uh, nothing.” Lance said, shaking his head and turning around to face the television. Hunk hit the start button, and their characters were thrown into battle. Pidge’s prediction stayed true, and Lance lost handily.

“I’m not used to the moves!” Lance said. In truth, he had only been half-focused on the game. The other half of his brain was trying to figure out why the hell Keith was now perched on the arm of the couch, watching.

“Can I play?” he asked. All three others looked at him, their faces showing various levels of surprise. Keith snorted. “What, just because I’m gay means I can’t play video games?”

Lance thought Pidge’s eyes were going to pop out of their sockets. “I - uh - I - no!” She spluttered. She looked to Hunk, but he was just as shell-shocked.

Lance rolled his eyes. “It’s fine, he knows we know.”

Pidge swallowed. “Right. And does he know  _ how _ -”

“Yes, Pidge, I know you were eavesdropping.”

Pidge sunk back against the couch, arms crossed, the tips of her ears glowing red.

“So, if he knows we know he’s gay,” Hunk started, slowly, making an effort not to trip over the words, “Does he also know the other thing we know? About you?” He gestured to Lance.

“Yes, Hunk, he knows about my Sephora membership.” Hunk squinted at Lance, unsure of what to say. Lance sighed. “I’m joking, Hunk. Yes, he knows I’m bi.”

“Ok, cool.” Hunk said, nodding. “I did not know how I was gonna keep that a secret.”

“I would never put that burden on you, dude.” Lance said, earnestly.

“Aw, thanks man!” Hunk said.

“Anyway, Keith wanted to play?” Pidge sat up again.

“Uh, yeah, if that’s cool.” Keith said. He sounded nervous. Lance looked up at him. His arms were still crossed, and his shirt was sagging, revealing part of his collarbone.

Lance moved over, closer to Pidge, who in turn shifted down towards Hunk. The remaining space was just enough for Keith’s narrow body. Lance patted the cushion next to him, and Keith slid off the arm of the couch, landing awkwardly in the space they’d made for him. He just barely fit, his bony hip jutting into Lance’s.

Lance handed him his controller, and he held it carefully in his hands. “I don’t actually know how to play. I’ve never really played video games before.”

Lance grinned. “Well you have come to the right place, because I am an excellent teacher.”

“Oh, god.” Pidge muttered, and was swiftly ignored by Lance.

Lance walked Keith through all the controls, showing him which button kicked, which punched, and how to do combos. It took nearly ten minutes, and both Pidge and Hunk’s eyes were glazed over by the end of it. “So, you think you got it?”

“We’ll see.” Keith mumbled, staring at the controller.

“Alright, so Hunk versus Keith?” Hunk and Pidge both blinked at him as the information made its way slowly into their brains - Lance was finally done with the longest videogame lesson ever. 

“Sounds good!” Hunk said, grabbing his controller. 

They chose their characters, and went into the arena. Lance was expecting Keith to lose pretty handily - after all, it was his first time playing, and Lance, Pidge, and Hunk were all verifiable nerds. But Keith held his own. He dodged far more than the rest of them ever would, and Hunk was beginning to get frustrated.

“Just - stay - still - and let me - beat you!” On the last phrase, Hunk’s character delivered a punch that took Keith’s out. “Yes!” Hunk exclaimed, his own arms flying over his head in victory.

Lance patted Keith’s knee. “You actually didn’t do too bad, I’m impressed.”

Keith shrugged. “It’s just like an actual fight. You have to know when to be defensive and when to be offensive. I’m just not used to the controls yet.”

Lance laughed, a single bark of laughter that echoed around the room. “You use real fighting strategy to play a videogame?”

Keith flushed. “Well, yeah. How else do you expect to win? Don’t you have a strategy?” He asked, folding his arms across his chest.

Lance nodded fervently. “Oh, I’ve got a strategy. It’s called button mashing, and it works like a charm. Hey,” He said, an idea springing to mind, “We’ve got four of us. We should do a tournament.”

Pidge’s eyes lit up. “We absolutely should!”

“Hunk and Keith, you guys wanna go again, and then Pidge and I can go, and the winners face off in the final battle?” The others agreed, and Hunk and Keith went in for round two.

This match lasted much longer, and by the end of it, it was Keith’s character who stood victoriously over Hunk’s. 

“Seriously?” Hunk yelled, but he handed Pidge his controller calmly. 

“You totally let me win.” Keith said, casually passing his controller to Lance. “You let me win because I’m new.”

“No, dude, I’m really just not that good.” hunk said, arms up in surrender.

“Hunk has his good days, and he has his bad days.” Lance said as they returned to the menu. “You just got lucky.” He gave Keith a sideways glance, and saw him leaning comfortably against the couch, one ankle propped up on the opposite knee. “You ready to go, Pidge?”

She pushed her glasses up her nose, in a way she thought was intimidating. “I was born ready, McClain.”

“Oh, we’re using last names now, huh? Alright, Gunderson, let’s do this.”

It was the longest fight of the day. The timer at the top of the screen was winding down, and Lance and Pidge turned into an indistinguishable mass of flailing elbows. By the end of it, Lance was halfway on top of Pidge, and he had won.

Pidge shoved her shoulder into his ribs. “Lance, you’re sitting on me, you fucking piece of deep-fried shit.”

“Pidge!” Keith gasped, but Hunk and Lance were unperturbed.

“She gets like that when she loses,” Hunk explained. “Real potty mouth on this one.” He poked her in the shoulder, and she smacked his hand away.

“Hunk, I swear to fucking God, if you try and touch me again, you will lose a fucking finger. Got it?”

“Sure thing, Pidge.”

“Lance cheated, anyway!” She yelled, pointing at the screen. “He sat on me! Plus, button-mashing should be against the rules. It’s horseshit. There’s no strategy to it at all!”

“Yeah, Pidge, it  _ should _ be against the rules, but it’s not. And we both know that physicality doesn’t count unless it forms bruises. Therefore, I did not cheat. Now, hand your controller to Keith so we can get to the real beatdown.”

Pidge grumbled something and sank lower into the couch, but reluctantly passed her controller to Keith.

“You think this is gonna be a beatdown, huh?” Keith asked, a sharpness in his voice. “You must not have a lot of confidence in yourself.”

“Are you making jokes, Kogane?” Lance grinned. 

“I might be.”

“No time for jokes,” came Pidge’s muffled voice from the below them, her back now lying across the cushions, with only her head up to see the screen. “Kill.”

‘You heard her.” Lance said.

The battle began. Although Pidge hated Lance’s button-mashing technique, there was no doubt that it worked. It went quickly, and as Keith’s character fell on screen, Lance jumped off the couch, fists in the air. “Woohoo!” He turned to Keith, who was shaking his head. “I  _ dominated _ you, Keith Kogane!”

Pidge had chosen a very poor moment to take a swig of water. She spit most of it out, and sat there coughing up the rest of it for several seconds. “Seriously, Lance?” she spluttered. 

“What?” He shrugged, pretending not to know what she was suggesting. “I totally did.” He collapsed back onto the couch, one spindly leg lying on top of Keith’s. He left it there, curious to see whether Keith would move. He didn’t.

“So what now?” Keith asked.

Lance shrugged. “I’m kinda hungry. Aw, I could totally go for some space nachos right now.”

Hunk pointed at him. “Dude. Yes. Let’s do it.”

“Ooh, here’s an idea,” Lance says, casually shifting away from Pidge as he said it. “We take this party to the kitchen for nachos, and the two biggest losers, aka,  _ you _ ,” he gestured to Hunk and Pidge, “Make it for the winners, aka  _ us _ .” At that, he gestured to himself and Keith. 

Pidge opened her mouth to protest, but gave up immediately. “Sure. Whatever. Lance is the best, the winner of everything, whatever, whatever.” Her voice was deadpan, but she hopped up off the couch nonetheless.

Lance led the charge towards the kitchens. He felt a warm glow around him, the kind that might just be from winning, but more likely was from the feeling his friends were giving off. 

Keith sidled up next to him. “You know, when you aren’t being an asshole, you’re actually pretty fun to hang out with.”

Lance smiled at him, a soft, pure smile. The warm glow blossomed within him as well, and he felt as if he’d been lying out in the sun. “Yeah, man, you too.”

They said nothing else, and Lance became vaguely aware of a whispering behind him, and a giggle, and then the sound of footsteps getting quicker and closer to him. Before he had time to process any of this, Pidge had launched herself onto his back, nearly toppling him, but he managed to keep his balance.

“Jesus, Pidge!” Lance said, shifting his weight to stay upright. “Some warning next time?”

“Onward, noble steed!”

Lance rolled his eyes. “You’re such a dork. And, hey - I won, shouldn’t you be carrying me?”

“Lance, I’m not even five feet tall. You would crush me.” Pidge said. Her voice was too loud in his ear, but he found it hard to care.

“Yeah, ok, but just remember, I can throw you off whenever I want.”

“Noted.” She said. She adjusted herself, and they almost fell again, sending them both into giggles as Lance righted himself.

Keith and Hunk were several feet ahead of them by this point, chatting amicably. Pidge lowered her head so it was right next to Lance’s, and whispered, “You seem really happy today.”

Lance frowned. “Don’t I always seem happy?”

“For the most part.” Pidge replied. “But sometimes you get kinda quiet, which is notable, because… ya know, it’s you, and you just look sorta sad. I’ve always assumed you were just homesick like the rest of us.”

“I am homesick, Pidge.” Lance confessed.

“I know. And I don’t mean to like… remind you of that. You just seem extra happy today, that’s all.”

Lance smiled. “I am happy, Pidge.”

She squeezed her arms around his neck, gently, but enough for him to know she was giving him an extra hug. “Good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter makes me happy. Lance is happy, so I'm happy, and that's really all it takes.  
> If someone wanted to draw the four of them squished onto a too-small couch, i would fucking cry, like, for real.  
> Also: I'm a biology and English double major, and the semester is starting to crank up (I have a4 page close reading due next week? That's so much for a close reading gah), so updates might get a little wonky. forgive me.  
> follow me on tumblr? @littlebilance


	4. Muscle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's pretend it hasn't been like 5 months, shall we?

Pull yourself together. Stand tall. Be strong. When we are given these commands, it is the muscle that takes on the job. It is what binds us; what keeps us moving. It lifts us up and carries us forward. But it is limited. It can do all of these things, of course, but only in a strictly literal way. Our muscle, though powerful, cannot process our emotions and help us to overcome those things which affect us personally. Though some may try, we cannot physically punch and kick to get out of an emotional trap. There is nothing our muscle can do to help us escape our nightmares, our sadness. And yet, they may assist in other ways. Our muscle is what allows us to fight our enemies, strike them down in a second. It allows us to flee when our fists won’t do the trick. And it allows us to hold the ones we love - wrap them in our arms, never to let go. And so the muscle, so powerful, so tough, is also capable of an astounding softness - a gentility for which each of us should be truly grateful.

The first time Lance woke up, it was to the sound of Shiro’s fist connecting with his door. “Up and at ‘em, Lance! Time for training!” Lance groaned and rolled over, pulling his pillow along with him and leaving it on his head.

Lance woke up the second time to Shiro again. The banging of fist on metal door was louder this time, and was accompanied by one barking shout of, “Lance!” This time, Lance called back, said he was up, and pulled his blanket over his head.

The third time, Lance wasn’t woken by a shout or a knock, but by the immediate chill that came when Hunk whisked the blankets off his bed. He instinctively curled in on himself, trying to retain some warmth. He heard a deep sigh distantly.

“Lance, if you don’t get up, Shiro’s gonna yell, and then he’s gonna make us run. Please, for the good of the team, get up.” Lance stretched, the tips of his toes brushing the edge of his bed. 

“Do I have to?” he muttered. He blinked, the bright lights an unwelcome infiltration into what had been such a blissfully dark room. 

“Yes.” came Hunk’s comfortless reply. Lance considered this for a moment, doubting its truth, before he felt himself being scooped up by Hunk’s massive arms. He was deposited unkindly onto the floor, where he stumbled a bit before finding his balance. The floor was ice on his feet, and he dug the heel of his hand into his eyes. 

He righted himself, blinking as Hunk came into view. He nodded. “I am up.” Lance said, matter of factly. “Now, I should probably get dressed, so if you’d just like to skedaddle, that would be great.” He motioned to the door.

Hunk shook his head. “Lance, I’ve fallen for this trick too many times. I know that if I leave to give you privacy, you’ll just crawl back into bed, and we’ll just have to do this all over again. Nuh-uh. I’m staying put.” 

Lance sighed. “Could you at least turn around, then?”

Ten minutes later, Hunk and Lance jogged into the training bay. Pidge was leaning up against the wall. Her eyes were only half open, and she yawned as she looked over to Hunk and Lance. “About time.” she said, stepping out from the wall. “They’ve been arguing for the past five minutes, at least. Maybe now we can finally do something.”

Shiro and Keith stood in the middle of the floor. Shiro stood ramrod staright, his arms folded in front of his chest. Keith was a much different picture, arms gesturing wildly, his cheeks nearly as flushed as his paladin armor.

“I don’t care if you feel fine, Keith,” Shiro was saying, “It’s not safe for you to train just yet. A concussion is sensitive. You can’t rush the healing process, OK? It doesn’t work like that!”

“I spent four days in a healing pod, Shiro!” Keith fired back. “I did my healing. I’m fine.”

Shiro sighed. “The healing pod isn’t magic, Keith. Coran said you should take at least another day of rest.”

“I don’t care what Coran says! I want to train, Shiro. How do you expect me to get better if you won’t let me train?”

“Lance!”

Lance’s eyes widened as Shiro and Keith whirled to look at him. “Uh, yeah?”

“You’re the medical expert. Is it safe for Keith to be training so soon after his concussion?” 

Lance swallowed. If he wanted to be honest, he would tell them that he had no idea how long a person should be sitting out after getting concussed. His training was all in emergency protocol, and it was over three years ago by now. But he liked that his teammates had placed a trust in him, so he didn’t want to be honest. The only question was: who to side with? There was Shiro, his leader, who he most certainly did not want to upset. But then there’s Keith: his ex-rival and new quasi-friend. Was Lance about to risk this newly blossoming friendship on a question he truly didn’t know the answer to?

“Lance?”

Lance blinked. “Oh. Uh, yeah. I guess it’s probably safer to sit out, at least for today. I mean, why take the risk?”

Shiro turned smugly back to Keith, whose eyes were still locked on Lance. He was smoldering, and Lance wondered if he was going to start yelling at him too. But to Lance’s surprise, Keith merely grumbled and went to sit near the wall.

“Alright,” Shiro said, placing his helmet “The rest of you, let’s start with two laps around the deck. Lance, Hunk, since you were late, you can take an extra two.”

Four laps later, Lance sidled up to Shiro and Pidge, breathing heavily. A few moments later, Hunk joined them and began guzzling water, glaring at Lance the entire time. 

“Alright, in the center. We’re gonna work on defense.” The exercise Shiro had in mind involved the simulator flinging orbs of sticky material at them. The orbs hardened on impact, so if it hit your armor, it was locked. This often led to some uncomfortable positions - like that time Pidge had jumped into the air and caught an orb in her bent knees. She’d crashed to the ground in a semii-fetal position and complained about her bruised knees for a month afterwards.

The team arranged themselves in a circle, backs to each other. Lance had Shiro on his right and Hunk on his left, with Pidge to his back. “Remember,” Shiro said, “Protect yourself and your teammates. This is day one stuff, guys.” 

All four raised their shields, and the simulator started up. The first green ball sailed at Pidge, and it splattered against her shield, quickly turning into stone. Not only did the orbs harden, but they got heavier as well. Lance batted one away with the edge of his shield, throwing the whole thing off balance.

The balls started coming faster. One shot at Lance from nearly floor height, and he hopped over it neatly. It latched onto Pidge’s ankle. “Agh!” She yelped, shaking her foot, but it was already locked on. “Lance!” 

“Sorry!” He twisted his neck a bit to call to her, and saw Keith, sitting on the floor unhappily. Keith wouldn’t have let that happen, Lance thought. He would have been able to block it. Distracted, Lance let an orb hit his thigh. The sensation of the goo hardening over him was nothing short of uncomfortable, and he tried not to think about it.

Another shot zipped by Lance’s shield, and Hunk yelled out. Lance glanced over. The orb had struck Hunk in the elbow, preventing him from bending his arm any more than it already was. “Sorry, buddy!” Lance called. His shield was beginning to weigh him down. He was tempted to ask Shiro to reset, but he stopped himself. He was always the one to ask; always the first to call it quits. No, he’d keep quiet this time.

“Hey, Shiro,” started Pidge, “Maybe we should oof - ” She was cut off by an orb to the stomach. She doubled over, leaving Lance’s back vulnerable to the next orb that came sailing through.

It landed with a loud thwack to the back of his neck. The force sent him tumbling onto the ground. “Lance, get up!” Shiro yelled, and Lance tried to look up at him, but his head was fixed firmly in one spot - staring at the floor.

The simulator had a response built in for this kind of thing - it recognized weakness. With Lance on the floor, he was totally prone, and the simulator fired three orbs at him rapid-fire: one to each of his knees, and one squarely to his ass. “That’s it Shiro!” He yelled. “I’m out.”

He could hear Shiro’s sigh through the com in his helmet. “Simulator, off.” Lance could hear the whirring machinery quiet down, and reached around to the back of his neck to pry the hardened compound away. If nothing else, at least it came away easily. Somebody else pried it off of his knees for him, and he got up. 

Keith held the two slabs of grey goo. “I’ll let you get the one off your butt yourself.” he said with a small smile. 

Lance’s cheeks filled with heat. “Yeah, thanks.” He peeled it away, careful not to make eye contact with anyone else while doing so. 

“Lance!” Shiro’s voice was harsh. “What happened?”

“I took one to the neck, and you know how the sim is.” Lance shrugged. “It went for me.”

Shiro flexed his jaw. “Come here.” he said, leading Lance away from the group. “Listen, Lance, you have to step it up. Showing up late, not putting in the effort -”

“Whoa!” Lance said, holding up a hand. “What the hell makes you think I’m not trying?”

Shiro’s expression was stony. “You know damn well what I mean. I’m not blind, Lance. If you want to be a part of this team, you’ve gotta start acting like it.”

Lance stood frozen to the spot as Shiro returned to the group. The other three stood, staring at Lance, clearly having heard the entirety of the conversation. 

“Let’s go!” Shiro yelled. Lance stepped back to the group. He shut his eyes, trying to force the tears that threatened to escape back down. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

“You OK?” Keith muttered.

Lance grinned. “Please. Why wouldn’t I be?” 

Keith opened his mouth, but was interrupted by Shiro. “Keith! You’re still sitting out.” Keith hesitated, but then gave Shiro a quick nod. He turned back to Lance, squeezed his shoulder, and walked back to his place along the wall. “Alright. I’m sending out five androids. Just some general sparring.”

“But, Shiro, there’s only four of us.” Pidge pointed out.

“The numbers won’t always play in our favor on the battlefield. We have to be prepared for any scenario.” He said. “Ready?” 

They gave their various affirmations, and Shiro started the new simulation. Five androids dropped from the ceiling, and the four paladins prepared themselves. Hunk and Lance brought up their guns, and Pidge readied her knife. 

The androids rushed them. Lance fired off two shots, one to each of two droids, but this only froze them for a few moments. Now both of them had their sights set on Lance. One swung its sword over its head at him, and he blocked it with the body of his gun. He kicked it in its stomach, and it staggered backwards. He ducked the swing of the next one and swept his leg under its foot, knocking it onto the floor. Lance scurried around the two androids, drawing them away from the rest of the group.

He fired again at one of the androids, enough that its head came apart from the body, and the whole thing collapsed to the floor.

“Nice, Lance!” Keith called from the sideline. Lance glanced over at him and grinned. Keith smiled back, but his expression quickly morphed. Before Lance could figure out why, another android hit him in the stomach, sending him flying backwards and onto the floor.

His shoulder hit hard, and he grunted. He shook his head, refocusing. He sprung up and rejoined the fight. Two androids were now ganging up on Hunk. Lance ran up behind one and whacked it with his gun. It turned and swung at him, and he ducked. Instead, the android’s sword caught Pidge in the back. She fell forward, and the android raised its sword up.

“Stop!” Shiro called, and the program fell silent. The androids dropped through the floor, and Lance relaxed. “Pidge, are you OK?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” she replied, pushing herself off the floor with only a small wince.

“Lance, you still aren’t focused.” Shiro said.

Lance’s mouth fell open, but no words came out. He shrugged, helplessly. “I - I’m trying, Shiro.”

Shiro sighed. “Alright. Again!”

This time went even more poorly than before. Lance took three shots he should have been able to block. The last one sent him toppling into Hunk, sending them both onto the ground.

“Enough!” Shiro yelled. The training room went silent. Lance stared at his knees, trying to steady his breath. “Lance, what is going on with you?”

“I’m trying, Shiro!” Lance yelled, leaping to his feet.

“Clearly, not hard enough!” Shiro returned.

“I don’t know what you want from me, Shiro!” Lance said, blood rushing to his face. “I’m sorry I can’t be you, or Keith.”

“Lance, that’s not what I meant.” Shiro said, more quietly.

“Really, Shiro? Because that’s what it feels like. If you think I’m such crap, why don’t you just kick me off the team?” Lance’s heart raced, half afraid that Shiro really would kick him off, half hoping he did.

But Shiro didn’t kick him out. His shoulders sagged. “I’m sorry, Lance. I’m not going to kick you off the team. I wouldn’t ever do that, ok? I just -” His hand jerked, like he wanted to reach out to Lance, but it stayed by his side. “Maybe we should just be done for the day.” He turned to the rest of the team. “Go hit the showers, guys. We can try again tomorrow.” He sounded dejected, but Lance didn’t feel bad for him. 

Instead he collapsed onto the floor. He waved Hunk away when he tried to pick him up off the floor, and listened to the echoing footsteps as his teammates left the training floor. The door slid closed, and the room was filled with a thick silence. 

Lance stared at the flourescent lights above him. They seemed to wink in and out. I’m dehydrated, Lance thought, distantly. He sighed, and let his mind drift, thinking about the various bruises he’d have after today. His neck would be stiff for days, that was certain. His thighs would have matching bruises. That would be fun; his wounds had never been symmetrical before. He was pondering whether his ass would be bruised, too, when a black-gloved hand entered his vision. Lance lazily followed the hand to an arm, and continued up to Keith’s face.

“You move… very quietly.” Lance stated, bluntly.

“I try.” Keith said, a small smile crossing his face. He wiggled his hand. “Want up?”

Lance sighed. “Thanks.” He grabbed Keith’s hand, and Keith pulled him to his feet. The momentum carried Lance forward, and their hands were caught between their chests, their fists a small barrier between their two breastplates, red and blue. Lance coughed, and extracted his hand, stepping back. “I guess I should go shower, then.”

“Lance?” Keith asked. Lance turned back to him, eyebrows raised. “If you want, I could help you. With some of the combat stuff. If you want.” 

Lance smiled grimly. “It’s fine, Keith.” His pride was wounded enough. He didn’t need Keith’s pity to add to the embarrassment. 

“No, Lance-” Keith grabbed Lance’s arm. Lance looked down in surprise at Keith’s hand wrapped around his bicep, and then back to Keith’s face. Keith’s hand fell away, and there was a sharp, fleeting pang in Lance’s stomach. “I’m not trying to show you up or anything. I just want to help. You know how much I hate that rivalry thing. This is just about trying to make you better.”

Lance ignored the insult buried in the ostensibly good-natured offer. He chewed his bottom lip. “Yeah, alright. We’ll see if even you can help me.” 

“You’re not that bad.” Keith muttered. 

“Oh yeah?” Lance asked. 

“Yeah.” Keith nodded. “You just seem to get distracted easily. But, when you’re focused, you’ve got the skill.” Lance snorted. Keith rolled his eyes. “Well, you’ve got a lot of skill. I don’t know why you dumb yourself down.”

Lance shrugged. “To lower people’s expectations?”

“And does that work?”

“Yeah.” Lance thought about the shitshow of a training session they’d just had. “Maybe I’m a bit too convincing, though.”

“Deep.” Keith said. He walked to the center of the training floor. “Start with some hand-to-hand?”

“Uh, are you sure you should be fighting? With the concussion and all?” Lance asked.

Keith shrugged. “You’re the medical expert. Did you mean it earlier when you told Shiro I should sit out?”

Lance grimaced. “Dude, I don’t know. My training is all… emergency stuff. I don’t know any of the long term stuff.”

“Fair enough.” Keith said. “Well, I think I’m good to go. So,” he motioned to the floor in front of him. “You ready?” 

Lance stepped up. “Born ready.” 

“Show me your ready position.” Lance sidled up, one leg just in front of the other, knees slightly bent, fists raised. “Good.” Keith said, surveying him carefully. “Mind if I make some adjustments?”

“That’s why we’re here, isn’t it?” Lance asked.

“Good point. Alright, you’re gonna want to slide this foot back a bit more…” He nudged Lance’s right foot with his. Lance stepped back, and Keith shook his head. “No, too far. Now you’ll be off-balance, see?” He pushed Lance’s shoulder, and Lance had to sidestep to avoid falling completely over. Lance took his stance again, his cheeks flushing ever so slightly at having made a mistake so early on in the process. 

Keith looked him over. “Better.” He faced Lance and matched his position. “Hit me.”

Lance blinked. “Uh, what?”

Keith sighed. “Just do it, Lance. We’re training.”

“Alright.” Lance focused, drew his fist back, and aimed for Keith’s face. But instead of connecting with Keith’s jawbone like he was anticipating, Keith caught Lance’s hand in his palm.

“Whoa!” Lance yelped. “How did you -”

“You have to be quick.” Keith said. “Which, you are, but you have to be… quicker.” He shook his head. “Sorry.”

Lance laughed. “It’s fine, dude. I can take at least a little criticism. God knows I’m used to it.”

Keith grimaced. “You really aren’t as bad as you think. You just have to convince yourself of that.”

“Yeah, and Shiro.”

Keith shook his head. “Shiro only thinks that because you allow him to think that. If you want Shiro to see the fighter you really are, you have to show him. He’s not going to take you seriously if you don’t take yourself seriously.”

Lance nodded. “Yeah, ok.”

“Ready to go again?”

“Ready.”

They continued their battle, slowly, with Keith stopping every minute or so, making adjustments and giving advice. As they progressed, Lance noticed himself start to improve. It became easier to move quicker, and the fight began to pick up speed. Soon, they were imbedded in a full-fledged sparring match. It ends with Keith on the ground, Lance standing above him, both shocked and panting.

Keith’s face split into a grin, and Lance’s was quick to follow. “Did - did I win?” Lance asked.

“Well, I wasn’t really trying my hardest…” Keith joked, but Lance’s face fell. He recovered himself, saying, “No. Yes. Yes, you definitely beat me. Fair and square.”

Lance smiled. “Well that’s...unprecedented.” He reached out his hand and pulled Keith to his feet. “Ah, my hero,” he said, lifting the back of his hand like a damsel in distress. “How will I ever repay you?” He mock fainted against Keith, his head on Keith’s shoulder.

Keith chuckled and pushed Lance off of him, sending Lance stumbling forward. “Maybe you can help me out with something I’m not so good at.”

“Please,” Lance said, wiping the sweat from his brow. “There’s not a single thing in this universe that you can’t do better than I can.” 

“Are you kidding?” Keith asked.

“I - what?” Lance and Keith stared at each other, both confused.

“There are like, a thousand things you can do that I can’t.” Keith said.

“Mhm, yeah, ok.” Lance nodded. “Like what, exactly?”

“I dunno.” Keith shrugged. “You can flirt.” Lance blinked. Was the flush in Keith’s cheek from sparring, or this conversation? “I mean, you certainly aren’t as adept as you think you are, but Hunk did say that you had a bunch of those mermaids asking you to stay forever, so you must be at least kinda good.”

Lance made a mental note to grant Hunk knighthood after this. “Alright, cool. So I’ve got flirting. That’s sure to help us in our fight against Zarkon! I’ll just head straight in and charm him into giving his ten thousand year old empire!”

Keith smiled. “Yeah, ok.” He thought for a moment. “Well, maybe you could help me with my aim.”

“Ha. Good one.”

“I’m serious, Lance.”

“Bullshit. You’re just as good a shot as I am, probably better.”

Keith rolled his eyes. “No, I’m really not. You’re easily the best shot on the team.”

Lance remembered the breakout from Beta Traz, and Shiro calling him our sharpshooter. “You really think you need help?” his voice was quiet, reserved. 

Keith nodded. “I could always use help.”

“Well.... alright.” Lance pulled out his bayard and let it expand into rifle form. “Uhh, here.” He shoved it into Keith’s arms. Keith took it and called for a target from the simulator. A single red target raised up from the floor and hung, suspended, about six feet from the ground. Keith raised the rifle and looked down the sights.

“Ok. What now?” Keith asked.

Lance stepped around him, trying to figure out how best to go about his task. “I don’t… really… know.” He stepped away and studied Keith’s position before coming to his eventual, rom-com decision. “Ok. This might be a little weird, but I think it’s the only way to do this. You cool?”

“Do what you gotta do.”

“Alright.” Lance stood just behind Keith and wrapped his arms around his friend so that he was holding the gun as well, like a shadow. He lined his head up alongside Keith’s and put his feet just behind Keith’s, working to mimic Keith’s exact stance. There they stood, cheek to cheek, Lance’s chest against Keith’s back, his hips against Keith’s - 

He took a deep breath. “Ok. Now I can see what you see.” Lance muttered.

“Alright.” Keith’s voice sounded strained.

“Is this ok?” Lance asked. “If you’re uncomfortable, I can -”

“No, this is good.” Keith said quickly.

“Right. So.” Lance tried to ignore the tickle in his ear from Keith’s hair. “Uh, raise your elbow a little more.”

Keith did so. “Like this?”

“Yeah. This is so weird. I don’t know how to teach this, it’s more of a feeling thing.”

“Then just do what you would do, and I’ll try and get a feel for it.” Keith said.

“Right.” Lance tried to focus on his aim, but he kept getting getting distracted by the fact that his arms were wrapped around Keith. He huffed out a breath and refocused. “So here’s what I usually do: I take my aim, and just before I fire, I take one last deep breath. It helps me steady myself if I need to be really precise. Ok.” He readied himself, raising the gun towards his target. He took a deep breath, and felt himself settle. He fired - and the blast hit the target squarely in the middle.

“Wow.” Keith said. “That really works.”

“No need to sound so shocked.” Lance muttered. “I am the team sharpshooter, after all.”

“Yes, you are.” Keith said, and Lance could hear the smile in his voice. “Let’s do this one together.”

They called up another target, and repeated the process - elbow up, deep breath in, exhale, fire. The target was blasted away again.

Keith turned his head just a bit to look at Lance. “I’m impressed, sharpshooter.”

Lance could feel every huff of breath on his lower jaw. “Thank you. You think you got this one solo?”

“Maybe one more together?” Keith suggested.

Lance stifled a smile. “Sure thing.” 

They realigned, their bodies pressed together again. They lined up the shot, took their breath, and squeezed the trigger.

“Wha- OH MY GOD.” The two boys jumped. The rifle jerked, and they blasted the ceiling, shattering a fluorescent light. Glass sprinkled to the floor in front of them, and they   
sprung apart.

Lance and Keith whipped around to see Pidge in the doorway, armor-clad and with her bayard in hand. “Jesus, Pidge!” Lance yelped, his hand pressed to his chest. “Do you always disrupt people when they’re trying to do something?”

“Hey, buddy, I don’t know what you guys were doing. I just came back to work on some hand-to-hand combat. I didn’t mean to interrupt your… hand-to-hand.” Pidge smiled nervously, eyes flicking between Lance and Keith.

Lance groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. Keith stepped forward. “Uh, if you want, I can help you with some sparring.”

Pidge raised her eyebrows. “Are you guys done?”

“Oh, yeah.” Lance said. “We’re definitely done.” He headed for the door, but stopped, and turned around. “Hey, Keith - thanks, buddy.”

Keith smiled. “Anytime you wanna go again, just let me know.”

“Will do.” Lance waved to him, and turned to Pidge. Her face was beet-red, her eyes like saucers.

WHAT? she mouthed to him. He shook his head, grinning. He knew that as soon as she was done on the training deck, she’d be peppering him with questions, but he liked tormenting her for now.

He left the training deck as Keith began instructing Pidge, telling her to square up - exactly the way he’d started the training session with Lance, and Lance felt his heart sink a little bit. He didn’t know why he’d thought the last half hour had been special, somehow, but that didn’t stop the disappointment. Keith had helped him because they’re teammates, nothing more, and Lance had been silly to think otherwise. What - had this little exercise been a date? No. Any feelings either of them had were surely stemming from the opportunity of it all, not a genuine attraction.

He wondered distantly if there was any food left over from breakfast, and headed towards the kitchen, convincing himself that the pit in his stomach was a product of   
hunger, and nothing more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sings* No chance, no way, I won't say I'm in love  
> Maybe I'll update this again before the end of time! Probably not! I'm the worst!  
> Confession: each chapter only takes me like, a day to write, but I'm just a giant fuckin slacker who doesn't work well on a schedule.  
> Anyway, the original thought was that I'd finish this before the start of season three, but as that's in like three days, that goal seems rather unattainable now.  
> Anyway anyway, I hope you liked the chapter! Leave a comment if you did! The number of comments I get is directly related to how quickly I write the next chapter, and that's a fact.  
> Follow me on tumblr @littlebilance


	5. Ribs

Ribs. They contain some our most vital organs, and protect them from the outside world. They are our walls, our barrier to any serious pain. According to the Christian Bible, God created woman by removing one of man’s ribs. They are our core, our center, they represent who we are as humans. Easily broken barriers - protecting our lungs, our liver, our heart, our soul.

Several days after Lance’s one-on-one training session with Keith, he sat on the floor of the yellow lion’s hangar. Hunk was knelt next to one of the lion’s enormous paws, a metal panel open. He was reconfiguring something with the claw mechanisms, but Lance wasn’t sure what. 

Lance’s legs were straight out in front of him, his nose at his knees, feeling the stretch behind his knees and at the back of his thighs. It was his favorite way to decompress - he could spend hours stretching every muscle in his body. After years of it, he was fairly limber, and proud of it, but it wasn’t the kind of skill he often showed off.

He hadn’t had a good bonding session with Hunk in weeks. They’d been so busy with the fight that they hardly had any moment where they weren’t in battle, training for battle, or resting after battle. And while Lance liked having Pidge and Keith and everyone else around, he also liked it when it was just him and Hunk. It reminded him of when he first started at the Garrison, and Hunk was his first friend. They’d stuck like glue since the moment they met, and Lance wasn’t going to let any war, no matter how big, mess with that friendship.

They’d been there for over an hour, talking about all kinds of things - the war, Shay, whether or not the people back on Earth had any idea any of this was happening. Eventually, though, the conversation came around to the one thing Lance really did - and really didn’t - want to talk about: Keith.

“So, how’s that been going?” Hunk asked. “Still friends?”

“Yes.” Lance replied tersely.

“Great! So what aren’t you telling me?” Hunk’s voice was still perfectly innocent, but Lance knew he wasn’t going to get away from this conversation without talking about Keith.

Lance sighed. “Do you think… that it might be possible, at the very least, that Keith might like me?”

Hunk looked up so quickly that he smacked his head on the open panel. He stared at Lance in shock for several moments, then narrowed his eyes. “Why?” He asked, suspiciously. “Do you like him?”

Lance’s chest tightened. “I don’t know.” He knew his face was bright red, but ignored it. “I mean, I think I do, at least a little?” He heard Hunk’s small gasp, but kept his eyes on his knees and pressed on. “The thing is, it’s probably just because it’s possible, right? Like because I know that we could potentially date, my brain has just taken hold of that. It’s probably that I like the idea of dating him, but maybe not the actual practice of it.” He finally looked up. “Does that make sense?”

“Yeah, it makes sense. But I think that’s something you have to figure out, buddy - whether or not you do really want to be with him.” Hunk had now fully extracted himself from the lion and was sitting cross-legged, playing absent-mindedly with a wrench.

Lance groaned. “Hunk, you aren’t helping.”

Hunk took a deep breath. “Alright. You wanna know what I think? What I really think? I think that you’ve spent so much time fighting Keith, and hating him for - let’s face it - absolutely no reason, that you don’t actually know anything about him. So how are you supposed to know whether or not you actually want to date him, when you don’t know anything about him other than his sexuality and his sparring abilities?”

Lance raised his eyebrows. “Shit, dude. Been holding that in?”

Hunk sighed. “You frustrate me so much, sometimes, Lance. But you’re my best friend, and I love you, so I guess I have to let it go, huh?”

Lance grinned and patted Hunk’s knee. “Aw, I love you too, buddy. You’re my like, my best friend ever.”

Hunk smiled. “Yeah, you too. Although, Pidge is starting to climb the ranks…”

“Oh, like hell she is!” Lance said, stealing Hunk’s wrench at using it to gesture at him. “Nuh-uh. Fuck Pidge. She can go eat a Weblum.” Hunk snorted. “How about this - you and me, tonight, we watch some old Altean movies that we don’t understand. Good, old fashioned, movie night. You in?”

“Sounds great.”

Lance stood up and tossed the wrench back to Hunk. “In that case, I will see you later.”

“Gonna go find Keith?” Hunk asked, one eyebrow arched. “Get to know him?” He drew out the word know suggestively, and Lance grimaced.

“I’m going to take your advice, and figure this crap out.” Lance frowned. “The sooner I do, the sooner I can move on.”

“Move on? Or move in?” Hunk wiggled his eyebrows.

“Ugh, I don’t even want to know what you’re trying to suggest. See you tonight?”

“Yeah, see you later.” With that, Hunk dove back into his mechanical project, and Lance left the hangar.

Lance very quickly realized that he didn’t actually know where Keith was. There were a few possibilities - his room, the control room - but Lance had a pretty good idea of where Keith would be. With that, he headed towards the training deck.

It took him several minutes to walk all the way there, and in that time he tried to figure out what to say, but every idea he had made it sound like he was asking Keith on a date - definitely not the intention. By the time he got there, he didn’t have any kind of plan, and half of him hoped he’d been wrong, and that Keith was elsewhere.

He opened the door, and for a moment, he thought he had been wrong. He didn’t see Keith at first, sitting cross legged near the back of the room, nor did he immediately hear the strange, quiet music gently filling the room. It looked like Keith was meditating, and Lance wondered briefly if he should leave. Keith’s eyes were closed, and he looked completely at peace - a look Lance had never seen on him before. He stood in the doorway, enraptured.

He watched as Keith’s eyes opened slowly, peacefully. He blinked several times, letting his eyes drift lazily around the room, eventually reaching Lance. Keith jumped, and stood up. He gulped, and turned off the music. “Hey, Lance. I uh, didn’t hear you come in.” 

Lance stepped out of the doorway and into the room. “I didn’t want to disturb you. You looked so calm.”

Keith gave a bashful smile. “Meditating.” He explained. “It helps me relax - it’s weird, I know.”

“No!” Lance exclaimed, making Keith jump again. “Uh, I just meant, I don’t think it’s silly. I actually do something similar to help me relax.”

Keith nodded. “Cool. So, uh, did you want the room?” He ran a hand through his hair, pushing the black tangles to one side.

It took a moment for Lance to remember why he had come. “Uh, no, I was looking for you.”

“Oh. What’s up?”

Lance felt his palms start to sweat. “Well - we’re friends, right?”

Keith cocked his head. “Yeah.”

“But I don’t actually know anything about you. And maybe that’s by design - you are sort of a private person - but I also think that you don’t know much about me.”

Keith nodded. “I agree.”

“So, do you want to go for a walk? And maybe get to know each other?” He winced internally. It still sounded like a date.

Keith looked startled. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, that sounds great. When?”

“I was thinking, like, now? If you’re not busy?”

Keith shook his head. “I’m not busy.”

Lance nodded. “Shall we?” He stepped away from the door, gesturing towards it dramatically.

Keith said nothing, but gave a small smile and walked out of the room. Lance was sweating profusely. 

They turned right down the hall and began walking. They did this in silence for a minute or so, and Lance wondered if Keith was as nervous as he was. It was Keith who broke the silence, asking, “So, what do you wanna know?”

Lance shrugged. “I don’t know. What about your family? I mean, obviously you don’t know much about the Galra part, but what about your family on Earth?”

“My family, huh?” Keith was silent for a moment, then continued, “Well, I never knew my mom. It was just me and my dad for years, and then a month or so after I started at the Garrison, he disappeared. That’s when things got bad for me there - I started cutting classes, acting out, all that. I told them the reason I missed class was to look for my father, but they didn’t believe me, or they just didn’t care. Then I got the news that they’d found my father’s body, and I kinda...lost it. That’s when I stole a ship and got expelled. Apparently he was out drunk and got hit by a car, and I guess the driver panicked and hid his body in a ditch. At least, that’s what the cops said.” He looked over at Lance, who was staring at him, stricken. “There, you get the whole tragic backstory in one shot. Half-breed, orphaned at sixteen, expelled from dream school shortly thereafter. Voltron was kind of my savior after that.” He looked a little ashamed to have admitted it, but relieved as well.

“Keith… I had no idea.” Lance murmured.

“That’s why we’re here, right? To learn the stuff we don’t know about each other?” Keith smiled as he said that, but he sounded as if he was ready to cry. He took a deep breath, and when he spoke again, his voice was clear. “So, what about you? What’s your family like?”

Lance smiled. His favorite subject. “Well, both my parents are from Cuba, and I still have family there. Some of my favorite memories are from our trips back down to see my Cuban family. My parents immigrated from Cuba just after they got married. Pretty much the minute they got here, they started having kids - I have four siblings, two older and two younger. I’m right in the middle.” He smiled fondly. “Man, I miss them so much. I’m so used to being around people all the time, you know? I never had a bedroom to myself until I got here.” Just talking about them allowed Lance to relax a bit, and he started looking more at Keith and less at the floor.

“Kinda seems like we had exact opposite experiences.” Keith said, and Lance nodded. “Well, I know one thing we have in common.”

“Yeah? What’s that?”

Keith grinned. “We’re not straight.”

Lance laughed. “That’s...definitely true.”

Keith hesitated, before asking, “So, how did you figure it out?”

“I actually figured it out because of you.” Lance said as they rounded a corner. “I was telling Hunk and Pidge the whole story of everything that happened while I was taking you to the infirmary, and I said that I thought everyone had a little bit of gay in them. And uh, they did not agree with that, and suggested that maybe that’s just me, and I sorta just had an epiphany.” He laughed nervously. “It kinda hit me like a ton of bricks, actually. So yeah, very little experience in the same-sex side of things.”

“And the opposite-sex side of things?”

Lance grinned. “Far less experience than I have led you all to believe.” Keith laughed. “So what about you?”

Keith cocked his head. “I guess part of me always kinda knew? I never cared about girls. I made friends with them more easily when I was little actually. Then, at my school before the Garrison, there was this guy. It took me a while to realize that I liked him… in that way, and I thought he felt the same way, but…”

“What happened?” Lance asked. “You don’t have to say, if you don’t want to.”

Keith sighed. “No, it’s fine. So, I thought he liked me back, and one day, I kissed him. And he pulled away and hit me. Called me some pretty foul names. And that was the end of that friendship.”

Lance put a hand on Keith’s shoulder. “Keith, I’m so sorry.”

Keith looked at the hand and smiled. “It’s ok. I’m - well, I’m not really over it, but I at least know that he was wrong. And I’ve gone on two whole dates since then, so what did he know?” He smiled at Lance, and Lance returned it. They stayed like that for several moments, before Lance became too aware of it all, and started walking again.

“So, Pidge has been acting pretty weird lately.” Keith said.

“In what way?” Lance returned.

“I mean I think she really, really wants us to get together.” Keith said, awkwardly.

“Ah. Yeah, she’s pretty transparent about that.”

“So, what should we do?” Keith looked at him, eyebrows raised.

Lance shrugged. “No clue. Not sure there’s anything we can do. If we tell her to back off, she’ll probably just come back stronger.”

Keith nodded. “I wonder - do you think she’d be better or worse if we actually did date?”

Lance stopped in his tracks. “But - but that would never happen.”

Keith frowned, turning to face Lance. “What makes you say that?”

Lance shrugged. “Well...it just wouldn’t. I mean, it would be so bad for team dynamic.”

“What do you mean?” Keith asked, folding his arms across his chest. “Wouldn’t it make us stronger? Bring us closer together?”

“Well, yeah,” Lance defended, feeling his face go red. “It would bring us closer together, but it would totally alienate everyone else. It just… wouldn’t be good.” He thought for a moment, and then said, “Wait - why does this even matter? It’s not like it would ever happen, anyway.”

“Oh? And why’s that?” Keith was starting to sound angry, and Lance swallowed hard.

“Well, you don’t even like me like that.”

Keith blushed. “How do you know?”

Lance threw his arms out to either side of him in frustration. “I just know! Because, like, even if you thought you did, it would just be the product of opportunity - you wouldn’t actually like me, just the idea of me. See, it’s like, if I were straight, you wouldn’t ever develop feelings for me, because you’d know it couldn’t happen. But since you know I’m not straight, you know there’s a chance it could happen, and it just balloons from there.”

Keith stared at him, incredulous. “Where the hell did you get all of that?”

Lance shrugged, suddenly self-conscious. “I mean, it’s just logical, isn’t it?”

Keith laughed mirthlessly. “No, it’s not.” He shook his head. “So you’re saying we’re never going to be together?”

“Yeah - why, don’t you agree?” Lance asked, baffled at why this was feeling more like an argument than anything else.

Keith rolled his eyes. “God, you are such an idiot!” 

Lance took a small step back. “What?”

Keith’s face was bright red. “Do you ever listen when other people talk? Or do you just use that time to think up your next witty remark?” Lance opened his mouth to retort, but Keith kept going. “Jesus, Lance, of course I liked you before I knew you were bi! Why else do you think I cared so much?’

Lance shook his head violently. “No. You don’t mean that.” He wouldn’t let himself believe it.

Keith took a deep breath. “Oh yeah?”

And before Lance knew what was happening, Keith’s hand was on the back of his neck, and they were being pulled together. Their lips met, and it was kiss unlike any other Lance had experienced. For one, it was the first kiss Lance had ever had that was fueled by anger. But he felt it - it was radiating Keith like steam, rolling off him and colliding with Lance as every second passed. Lance was too present - he was aware of even that, and he tried to succumb to the kiss, let it wash over him the way a first kiss usually did, but he was too overwhelmed by the fact that this was Keith, and one of Keith’s hand was around his neck and the other was pulling on Lance’s jacket, and Lance couldn’t even figure out where his own hands were, and he was shocked and confused and by the time he could convince himself to relax, it was over. Keith was pulling away, and his violet eyes came back into Lance’s field of view. His heart started back up, air poured into his lungs, and the shock began to fade. But it was too late - Keith’s anger had not subsided in this one moment, and Lance prepared to feel the full brunt of it once more.

“I’ve liked you since the day we met, Lance.” Keith growled, his cheeks flushed, shoulders rising and falling with every rushed breath. “But if you don’t feel the same, that’s fine. I wouldn’t want to ruin the team dynamic!” He pushed Lance away and stormed off.

Lance stood, frozen, until he could no longer hear the echoes of Keith’s boots on the castle floor. He strained to hear them until his ears were filled with the sound of his own blood rushing through his head. He took two steps back, until his back connected with the wall. He slid down it, his feet stretching out along the floor, and let his head rest against the cool marble. He took a deep breath and let it out in a groan, letting the release of it calm him.

He sat there a few moments more. Eventually, he pushed himself up from the floor and headed back down the hallway, opposite of the direction Keith had gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two updates in one week?? who am i???  
> uh...yeah. so this is my shortest chapter thus far by like 1500+ words, but it also probably has the most drama so pls don't hate me for the length  
> anyway I had to write this because (s3 spoiler) all the klance content in the new season FUELED me. and I knew this chapter was next and I had to write it - i could not resist.  
> Som friendly reminder that comments are my fuel and that the number of comments I get is directly related to the speed at which I write the next chapter - I got so many on the last chapter and I'm so grateful and that really helped motivate me to get this one done quickly. so please - feed my ego! leave a comment!  
> lastly, for updates on this, other writing, and my general voltron emotions, follow me on tumblr @littlebilance  
> cheers!


	6. Spine

Backbone. It helps us to stand tall, stand strong. In that, it is also our center of courage. We refer to cowards as ‘spineless’, as ‘having no backbone’. When it come time to face our fears, do the things we must, rather than those we want to do, we rely on our backbone to keep us upright. There are few things more pivotal in times of crisis than courage, and therefore few structures more important than the spine. Stand tall. Be brave.

Six hours after the accidental first-date disaster, Lance had yet to see Keith again, but he figured that was probably good. There was no way that Keith wasn’t still mad. Lance understood. Keith deserved to be mad at him - he’d completely blown it. It takes a special kind of talent to accidentally take someone on a date and dump them in the same day, but Lance had done it perfectly. At least he had movie night with Hunk to make him feel better.

Unfortunately, Lance couldn’t focus on the film at all. It was some sort of romance, and all the actors were too like Keith. Every hurt look, every grimace, every tear - Lance couldn’t help but be reminded of the events of earlier in the day. He had never related so easily to a villain. His chest felt tight, and he had trouble reading the subtitles or even hearing anything, until Hunk prodded him in the arm.

 

“Huh?” Lance asked, straightening and turning to his friend. Hunk’s face was the very picture of concern - wide eyes, upturned brows.

“Lance, are you ok?”

Lance attempted a laugh, but it came out more like a cough. “Yeah, dude! Of course! I mean I can’t figure out what’s supposed to be happening in this movie, but other than that I’m great!” He smiled, but Hunk’s face didn’t change.

“Lance, you can tell me if something’s bothering you.” 

Lance sighed. “Nah, dude, it’s our movie night. I don’t wanna ruin it with my drama.” He waved his hands vaguely in the air, before letting them drop into his lap.

Hunk smiled. “Please, it’s no fun without you being dramatic. Drama-free Lance isn’t Lance. Now, tell me what’s wrong. Is it a Keith thing?”

Lance took a deep breath. “Yeah, I guess. Still wanna hear?”

“Dude, I have so missed you and all your relationship drama since we’ve been in space. Please. Spill.”

“Well… I told him I didn’t want to be with him.”

Hunk pulled a face. “And?”

“It’s not good, man.” Lance shook his head. “I think he liked me way more than I’d thought. He’s pissed.”

“Well, that’s to be expected if he liked you. You probably broke his heart.”

Lance groaned. “I didn’t wanna do that!” He stared at the ceiling, and continued, “Anyway, that’s not even the biggest issue.”

Hunk leaned in. “Go on.”

Lance’s cheeks began to warm. “Well, I sorta insinuated that his feelings for me probably aren’t real, and he got angry. And then, uh, he kissed me.”

Hunk slapped Lance’s leg in shock, and said, ignoring Lance’s yelp of pain, “He what?!”

Lance rubbed his leg absently as he talked. “It happened so fast, you know? I’m not even sure -”

“Lance,” Hunk interrupted, “Stop dancing around this, and talk to me. I need all the details.”

“Ok, ok. Like I said, I told him I doubted he really liked me, and he kissed me. It was almost like he thought I was challenging him or something. And then he pushed me away, yelled at me some more, and stormed off.”

“Damn.” Hunk muttered. Then, “was it… good?”

Lance winced, the color in his cheeks deepening. “I’m not really sure. I don’t think it was - I mean, he was angry and understandably not very focused on technique, and I wasn’t really prepared so I certainly didn’t help. It was a very angry kiss. Kind of...smashy.”

Hunk frowned. “Jesus.”

“Yeah.” Lance nodded. “Anyway, that’s still not the worst part.”

“Seriously?”

Lance grimaced again, still staring at the ceiling, cheeks redder than ever. “I think I do want to date him.” He braced for an explosion from Hunk that didn’t come. He glanced over nervously to see Hunk staring at him, slack-jawed.

“Are you serious?” Hunk finally croaked.

Lance nodded. “I know it’s a bad idea, but I can’t help it.”

“No, I get that.” Hunk said. “It’s just - well, this kinda sucks for me.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

Hunk sighed. “I bet Pidge twenty bucks that you’d be too stubborn to give yourself a chance.” Lance opened his mouth to argue, but Hunk continued, “I guess you’re just more mature than I give you credit for.”

Lance’s frown flipped into a grin. “Aw, Hunk, you big softy!” He punched Hunk lightly on the arm. They sat in silence for a few seconds, before Lance turned to Hunk again. “Ok, but how do I get him to forgive me?”

Though they spent the rest of their night discussing and debating, by the time they went off to bed, Lance still had no clue what to do about Keith. Hunk had suggested asking Pidge for help, which Lance quickly shut down. Any idea from Pidge would probably involve too much logic - not how Lance liked to operate. No, Lance liked to make things difficult, and he knew this about himself, but he couldn’t help it. He crawled into bed that night, exhausted, but found himself unable to sleep. In fact, he hardly slept all week. By the sixth day of he and Keith avoiding each other, he was exhausted, both from the tension and the lack of sleep.

By the time Shiro came around to knock on his door that morning, Lance was already awake and dressed, having been up for at least an hour already. He opened the door, greeting a shocked Shiro with a deflated, “Morning.”

“Lance!” Shiro said, taking a step back so Lance could leave his room. “Good to see you up so early!”

Lance gave a thumbs up but said nothing as he walked towards the training deck, leaving Shiro in the hallway.

Lance was the second to the training deck, just after Keith. The red paladin stood near the middle of the room, arms outstretched above his head, helmet on the floor. At the sound of the door sliding shut, he turned, and upon seeing Lance, his face fell, and he turned back around.

Lance swallowed. “Hey.”

Keith dropped his arms. He nodded at Lance, but said nothing. Lance watched, desperately trying to think of something to say, as Keith ran his hands through his shiny, dark hair. 

“Uh…” Lance said, surprising himself.

Keith raised his eyebrows. “What?”

Lance blinked. “What?”

“Did you say something?” Keith asked, squinting.

“Yeah.” Lance said, nodding. “Just that uh… well… no.”

Keith’s eyebrows pulled together and he turned away again. Lance silently chided himself, and tried come up with something - anything to say that had more substance than ‘uh’. He was rescued by the arrival of Hunk, Pidge, and Shiro.

“Alright, guys!” Shiro said, clapping his hands together. “Let’s get started. Two laps around the deck.”

Lance took off and Hunk quickly sidled up to him. “Dude, you don’t look so good.” 

“Yeah, I didn’t get much sleep last night.” Lance muttered. Or any night this week, he added silently. They were about fifteen feet behind Keith, and Lance couldn’t help but   
stare at that stupid, shiny hair as bounced around.

“How long were the two of you in here together?” Hunk whispered.

“Probably like two minutes, but it felt like twenty.” Lance was now staring at Keith’s shoulders. They were broader than his own, but still somewhat slim. The armor made them look more powerful than they were - very flattering, Lance thought.

“Did you talk at all?”

“I mean, I opened my mouth and sounds came out, but I would really say we talked.”

“I won’t ask.”

“Thanks.”

Lance was finding his gaze kept drifting downwards, and he told himself to focus on the shoulders. The shoulders. Lance thought. So well-muscled. He’s got great biceps too. His waist is nice. And his butt -

“Agh!” Lance exclaimed. Keith glanced backwards, and Lance felt himself blush. He hadn’t meant that to be out loud.

“Dude, are you OK?” Hunk muttered. 

“I’m fine.” Lance answered through gritted teeth. “I’m just gonna -” He sped off, leaving Hunk behind. He caught up to Keith quickly, but continued past him.

“What are you doing?” Keith called.

“I’m running.” Lance yelled back. He didn’t often run flat out like this in training, but it felt good - or it did, until he heard footsteps getting closer. A glance backwards showed Keith coming up quickly. Lance frowned, and put on more speed, but Keith kept catching up.

They sprinted the last 100 feet or so, neck and neck for most of it, until Keith pulled ahead at the end. They came to a stop, and Lance doubled over, breathing heavily. He hadn’t run like that since working out with his high school swim team. 

“What the hell is your problem?” Keith snarled.

Lance put his hands up. “My problem? I was just running, dude!”

“Hey!” Shiro jogged up next to them. “What was that about, guys?”

Keith pointed at Lance. “Ask him!”

Lance’s jaw dropped. “I was just running.” He repeated.

“Lance.” Shiro said, a warning note in his voice.

“Shiro.” Lance replied, his tone matching Shiro’s. Shiro folded his arms, and Lance felt his mistake. He sighed. “I really just needed to run. I swear.”

Shiro stared at him for a few seconds before taking a step back. “Take a walk, both of you. I’m not really in the mood to deal with the Lance and Keith show today.”

“Whatever.” Lance turned on his heel and walked away, as Keith and Shiro continued to argue.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and stopped walking. “Lance, are you ok?” Hunk asked.

Lance turned. Hunk and Pidge had caught up to him, and were both looking at him, concerned.

Lance shrugged. “I really just needed to run.” He said, weakly. “Don’t you ever get that feeling?”

“Yeah, but you started sprinting, right past Keith, who’s like, known for his speed.” Pidge said. “It was kinda dramatic.”

“I do know the feeling, buddy.” Hunk said. “But I haven’t been embroiled in Keith drama all week.”

Lance glanced at Pidge, and seeing a distinct lack of confusion on her face, looked back at Hunk. “I’m guessing you already filled her in?”

Hunk shrugged. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. Sorry for making everything so… exciting.” Lance finished, lamely.

Hunk laughed. “What do I keep telling you? Your drama is what makes being your friend so fun. Never a dull moment.”

Lance smiled. “Thanks, Hunk.” He looked at Pidge. “So what do you think I should do?”

Pidge shook her head. “No clue. This whole thing seems like a bit of a mess, if you ask me.”

“Oh, does it?” Lance asked, grinning. “I thought things were going pretty well.”

Pidge rolled her eyes. “You know what I meant. I just… don’t know how to help here.”

“I don’t think anyone can help me.” Lance said. “This is just something I have to deal with now.”

“Lance! Pidge! Hunk!” Shiro called from across the room. He looked angry, but not quite as much as Keith, who stood fuming a few feet away. “Let’s get this show on the   
road.”

The trio made their way across the training deck. Lance stared at his feet the entire time, glancing up just once to look at Keith. Maybe it was his imagination, but it seemed like just as Lance looked up, Keith turned away. 

“Are you guys ready to actually do some training?” Shiro asked. The four younger paladins were silent. Shiro clenched his jaw. “Whatever. Circle up.”

They went into one of the first drills they had ever attempted. The simulator shot at them, and if they got hit, they were dropped through a hole in the floor. It was one of   
Lance’s least favorite drills. 

The simulator started up, and everyone brought up their shields. They had improved significantly since their first attempt, and were batting away shots like it was nothing.   
Then the simulator shot one high, and Lance raised his shield just enough for it to deflect and continue on behind him. He glanced backwards to see the charge fly inches above   
Keith’s head.

“Sorry, Keith!” Lance called, momentarily forgetting their feud.

“Lance!” Keith bellowed. “I know you did that purpose.”

“No I didn’t!”

Lance thought he heard Keith mumble, “Whatever,” but he wasn’t sure. A moment later, he was paralyzed by a cold shock - like jumping into a freezing lake. It was the familiar feeling of being hit with one of the charges. He fell through the floor, landing with a thud in the dark room just below the training deck. 

He slammed a fist into the floor. That shot had come from Keith, he knew it had. He couldn’t believe Keith would purposefully leave a shot unblocked, even for him. He pushed himself up from the floor, ignoring the ache in his legs that came from the shock and the impact. There was a staircase at one wall that led right back up to the training   
floor, built just for drills like this one, and Lance scurried up it and back into the action.

The other four were still going strong. Lance watched as they blocked shot after shot for each other, communicating effortlessly. A lump rose in his throat. This is what a team looks like, he thought. 

They went for so long that eventually Shiro shut it down without anybody else getting hit. “Well done, guys. You acted like a real team.”

Lance couldn’t help it. “Yeah, awesome teamwork, guys. It was especially great when I got dropped through the floor because someone didn’t feel like blocking a shot.” He glared at Keith, who glared right back.

Shiro’s brow furrowed. “What happened, Lance?”

“Don’t ask me! Ask him.” He pointed at Keith. “He’s the one who let me get hit.”

“Only because you let one through first!” Keith yelled. 

“I told you, that was an accident!”

“Yeah, right.”

“Oh, what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just that nothing with you is ever an accident.”

“What?!”

Hunk, Pidge, and Shiro’s heads went back and forth like they were watching a tennis match. Finally Shiro stepped in. “Enough!” He glared at both of them. “That’s it, I’m cutting this session short. Keith, go take a walk. I’ve had about enough of you today.”

“Fine by me.” Keith walked out, bumping his shoulder into Lance’s as he passed. Lance opened his mouth to say something, but Shiro interrupted.

“Hunk, Pidge - good job today. You can go. Lance, I want to talk to you.”

Hunk and Pidge left, giving Lance pitying looks as they headed to the door. Lance and Shiro were left alone in the training room. Lance folded his arms, prepared for another verbal beatdown.

“Lance.” Shiro’s voice was surprisingly soft. “Are you ok?”

Lance raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“You seemed pretty pissed at Keith. Actually, you both seemed pissed at each other. What happened?”

Lance shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, Lance, it does. You guys are both parts of the team, and you need to be able to work together.”

Lance clenched his jaw. “Well, I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Shiro sighed. “Lance, you can’t just shut down. If you want to be a productive member of this team -”

“God, Shiro, just kick me off already!” Lance yelled, tears pooling behind his eyes. “I know you want to, and I’m sure Keith would love to have me gone, so just do it already.”   
He stared at Shiro, refusing to break eye contact. 

Shiro looked horrified. “What? Lance, I don’t want to kick you off.”

Lance laughed bitterly, wiping his eyes quickly with the back of his hand. “Of course you do. All you ever talk about is how I’m not good enough, or how I don’t work hard   
enough. So get rid of me. I’m sure you can find another blue paladin.”

Shiro put a hand on Lance’s shoulder. “Lance, if that’s the impression I’ve given you… I am so sorry.”

Lance squinted at him. “What?”

Shiro shook his head. “You are a valuable member of this team - that’s indisputable. Sometimes, I push you because I know you can do better. But you have to believe that   
too.”

Lance nodded. “Ok.”

“I’m sorry, Lance. I really am.”

Lance sniffed. “That’s ok.” He gave Shiro a small smile. “Sorry for freaking out.”

“It’s fine. It seems maybe I needed the wake-up call. I’ll try not to be so hard on you from now on.”

“Thanks.” Lance started to leave, but Shiro stopped him.

“I did still want to talk to you about something.” Lance raised his eyebrows, and Shiro continued. “We need to talk about you and Keith.”

Lance groaned. “Shiro, I’d really rather not.”

“Look, you don’t have to tell me what’s going on.” Shiro said. “But you have to try and fix it. You guys are teammates. If you guys can’t be friends - that’s fine. But you have   
to be able to work together as teammates, because I don’t want to lose either of you. Please - just try and work this out.”

Lance sighed. He knew Shiro was right - he had to work things out with Keith, and it had to be Lance to make the first move. “Yeah, alright. I’ll figure it out.”

Shiro smiled. “You can go now.”

Lance turned and headed for the door. As he walked through the castle, he tried to figure out how to possibly start a conversation with Keith. Start with an apology? Or ease   
into it? He mulled over possible conversation starters, and as he turned a corner, he ran directly into Keith.

They bounced apart, and Keith looked stunned. “Sorry, I - never mind.” His cheeks reddened, and he went to move around Lance. 

Lance stood frozen, and listened to Keith walk away. “Wait!” he called, not even turning around.

The footsteps stopped, and there was silence for a moment, before Keith called back. “What do you want?”

Lance turned finally. Keith stood about twenty feet away, still in his paladin armor, arms crossed. It was quintessential Keith, complete with a frown and black hair sticking out at odd angles. Lance felt his heart skip a beat. “I want to talk to you.” he managed.

Keith thought about it for a moment, before saying, “Well, I don’t want to talk to you.” He turned on his heel and continued down the hallway.

Lance didn’t know what to do, before a voice in the back of his head said, go after him, idiot. He bolted after Keith, long legs letting him catch up in a matter of seconds. He   
stepped in front of Keith, blocking his path.

“Lance, don’t.” Keith warned.

“No, Keith.” Lance felt something bubbling up within him - something like courage or fear, he wasn’t sure which. “We have to talk. You know that just as well as I do.”

Keith looked at the floor. “Fine.” he said finally. “Say whatever you have to say.”

Lance hesitated. He had never actually figured out what to say, and now that he had Keith in front of him, he was stuck.

Keith sighed. “Lance, do you want to say something or not?” 

“I do, I’m just trying to figure out how to word it.” He paused, and finally said, “I’m sorry.”

Keith raised his eyebrows. “Took you that long to figure out how to say ‘I’m sorry’?” 

Lance laughed nervously. “Yeah, I guess.” He and Keith looked at each for several seconds, before Lance continued. “I’m sorry for… everything. Nothing that happened was fair to you, and I feel really bad about it. I’m sorry for leading you on, and I’m sorry for making assumptions. I’m sorry for treating you like shit, and for belittling you, and for embarrassing you. I’m sorry for all of it. And you don’t have to forgive me right away, but… well, for a while there we were getting along pretty well, and I know it was just a few days of that, but I miss it. And I’d like to go back to it.” He finished with a deep breath. He felt instantly better - lighter, even. 

Keith looked at him, his eyes soft. “I forgive you.”

“You - you do?” Lance asked, incredulous.

“I might have overreacted. I’m told I do that sometimes. And I liked being friends with you too. I was just thinking that it might be time to talk to you about it.” He smiled, just a bit, but it flooded Lance’s heart with warmth.

“So - wait, if you wanted to talk, why’d you give me such a hard time just now?”

Keith smirked. “Seemed appropriate. I kinda like seeing you flustered.” he admitted, cheeks pink.

Of course he did, Lance thought. “So, we’re ok?”

Keith sighed. “Yeah, we are.”

Lance grinned. “Cool.”

Keith smiled back, but dropped it quickly. “Lance, there’s something you should know.”

“What’s that?” Lance asked, desperately trying not to let the nervousness he felt show in his voice.

“My feelings for you… haven’t really changed. I still like you. But if you feel the same as you did last week, let me know, and I’ll stop asking. But you had to know.”

Lance’s heart kicked into overdrive. “No, Keith, my feelings have changed. Absolutely. You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that.”

Keith grinned at him. “So, you like me too?”

Lance nodded. Slowly, he reached one of his hands out to grab Keith’s. Keith looked down, his breath hitching. “I really like you.” Lance murmured.

Their faces drew slowly together. “Lance, I -” Keith started.

He was interrupted by a colossal BOOM that shook the castle. The pair stumbled, but their hands stayed locked together. There was a moment of silence, before sirens started wailing. 

Allura’s voice came over the loudspeaker. “Paladins! We’re under attack! Get to your battle stations, now!”

Lance and Keith looked at each other before tearing off towards the control deck, their hands finally breaking apart as they ran.

“Lance,” Keith huffed, “I wanted to tell you -”

“Later, Keith.” Lance cut him off.

“But, Lance -”

“Later.” Lance insisted with a reassuring smile, knowing full well that in their world, “later” was never guaranteed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hallo I'm back.  
> A couple of things:  
> 1\. I kinda feel like everything in this chapter feels rushed - pls let me know what you think, whether you agree or disagree!  
> 2\. Dialogue is hard, if you have any critique on that, I am also eager to hear it.  
> 3\. I'm a big ol' Pride and Prejudice fan, so if you read this and thought "...was that a P&P reference?" yes, yes it was.  
> So, this is the penultimate chapter! Just one more that will probably be kinda short, and then a teeny little epilogue.   
> Please let me know what you think in the comments! The more comments I get, the faster I write <3  
> as always, you can yell at me more on tumblr.com/littlebilance


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